- Freedom of Speech & Thoughts -

45 Lessons in Life

2010-01-10T23:20:00.000+08:00

i got a forwarded email from my dad. Yeah, he knows how to use email. It's one of those really beautiful presentation file with lots of nice pictures and soothing music as you flip through the slides. I can't share all those pictures, but nevertheless the message the email tried to bring was as beautiful as well. So i thought of sharing it with you. Enjoy.

1. Life isn't fair, but it is still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It is more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting from your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past, so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. Don't worry, God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood, but the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take NO for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare. Then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously, no one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it.
36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
37. Your children gets only ONE childhood.
38. All that really matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside everyday. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, Get up, Dress up, Show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it is still a gift.

And there you have it. One of the longest, most nagging advice i've ever posted. Hope you enjoyed it.

ChiM

First Post of the Year

2010-01-02T22:11:00.002+08:00

Well, 2009 didn't end too badly for me, and 2010 started in a very comfortable manner as well. Of course i'm trying to relate to all the good things that happened only, so that the law of attraction will function properly this new year.

So for 2010, i would like to make a wish and a list of resolution to complete. i wish my family, and friends will be healthy and happy all year round, and this is renewable next year so that my friends will renew their friendship contract with me ya.....hehe :D

In year 2010, i would love to complete the following:

1. Get a really nice Couple-Watch for SQ and myself.
2. Go on a ~~honeymoon~~ vacation to the beach for real, with SQ of course
3. Take mom & dad for the Penang trip i promised :P
4. Be more careful on the road, no more accidents.
5. Refrain from spending unnecessarily. No new phone, no new car, no new laptop.
6. Money saved from (5) will go to the *Bling-Bling* :D
7. Work ~~harder~~ smarter for the long-overdued-promotion the company owe me!
8. Realize that really romantic thingy i'm supposed to do this year. Shh....!!
9. Tune my body age back to the biological age it is supposed to be, if not younger.
10. Watch my words, watch my temper, watch myself!

Happy 2010~!!

ChiM

Bad Boyfriend

2009-12-27T00:23:00.000+08:00

i think i'm a terrible boyfriend.

A couple of months ago, i was planning a short trip to Malacca with SQ. Just something to get away from work, a short holiday to relax and eat. Then the Singapore thingy came by and all plans changed. In the end, the Singapore thingy called short, so does the Malacca trip. Minus 10 mark here.

I was out the other day trying to get SQ a surprise Christmas gift, but she ended up finding out before i was able to buy the present. Spoiler! So in the end i didn't buy her anything for Christmas. Minus 10 mark again.

Then it's Christmas eve, and i thought, "Hey, let me take her out for dinner and after that we'll go to a present exchanging party with some colleagues of mine. That would be great!" We even went to a Japanese eating place, she love japanese food, and then the most bizarre thing happened. My tongue was swollen due to some allergic reaction to what i suspect to be a piece of contaminated tuna fish. Dinner spoiled! Minus 10 mark for me.

Then it was Chrismas day, we went dinner at one of her colleagues house. A steamboat dinner, and then a small present exchange before going home. When everything ended it was quite late. Should've offered to go home with her and spend the night at her place. Pamper her a bit more and tug her into bed. A foot massage would be good too. But i did none of those. Minus 10 marks here too.

Then it's boxing day. Didn't see her the whole day. She was running about checking her pharmacy thingy, and then after that her make-up class. Night time she fell sick. I only found out when she told me. She's at home, and i'm at my place. No chance to take care of her. Another 10 marks to minus here.

In just a couple of days, my boyfriend marks are deducted to almost half gone, and it may not be full to begin with. I may already failed as a good boyfriend if not on the verge of failing. Guess i need to begin 2010 in a better way for this relationship.

ChiM

In Loving Memory of Grandpa

2009-12-13T17:13:00.000+08:00

On December 10th 2009, i lost my grandpa. i was at home asleep after a hectic work day, headache pounding inside my skull, when dad came into my room to break the news. i got up, changed and we all went to grandpa's place. He was 79 when he passed away.

His health has been deteriorating for the past few years, from being able to walk on 2 legs, to walking on 3 legs, before finally relying on the wheelchair to move around. He lost enormous weight, his skin brittle from old age, his once strong hands were no longer able to carry much force.

This year during his birthday, he refused to let us celebrate for him. When he was admitted into the hospital prior to that, he couldn't recognize me. From that time on, i had been very worried that the worst will come soon.

About a month ago, he was admitted into the hospital because his legs were swelling up. He was diabetic. A week after discharged, he was admitted into the hospital again for another problem. Upon diagnosis, his intestines are not doing its job and hence food is stucked inside rotting into toxic. The doctor performed an operation to unclog what was supposed to move out.

He went into coma since. When he woke up, he wasn't really conscious. He wasn't able to speak even though his eyes are open, and responding. Last week, we got a warning call #1 from the hospital on the possibility that grandpa will not make it. All of us rushed to the hospital fearing the worst.

He was on life support, relying on a machine to breath, on drugs to run the heart. The doctor's prognosis says his condition might be due to the internal organ has already started failing because his intestine started clogging again.

The day before he left, mom was with him, so were my uncles. His condition was terrible. Yellow liquid were oozing out from his arms and legs, so much that the bandages around his arms and legs were soaked.

At 1045pm, he was relieved of his suffering.

The whole weekend was filled with prayers and ceremonies. Everyone came back, uncles & aunties as far as from Medan, cousins, friends and relatives. Amidst the sad news, it's also a happy thing to see how strong the family bond still is.

This morning, the cremation ceremony took place. It wasn't really a good sight to see, knowing the fact that this really is the last time we will be seeing this man, the person we all grow up with, a father, a grandfather, a friend. i'm sure grandpa will not worry about us, we all know how to take care of ourselves now.

ChiM

Being Around

2009-12-08T23:37:00.002+08:00

Well, i guess it's official. i'm going to hang around ipoh for a longer time than i thought. Changed the plan of going Singapore for the job, don't ask why.

Well, i guess i could continue all those plans i have if i were to stay on with what i have. Perhaps i should put them into one of those resolution list, something to remind myself of the things i need to accomplish next year.

We're going to see about that, ok?

ChiM

Life is Fair

2009-11-21T15:29:00.000+08:00

i bumped into an old school mate last night over dinner, and we had a quite pleasant talk for a couple of minutes. It was quality, one-on-one catching up chat, the kind of chat you usually don't get to have when you meet up with a big bunch of people, and somehow you sit and the very far end to someone.

The usual topic come into play, like what's up lately? How's work? Have you seen so and so lately? Those kind of topics.

Then we talked about some people who are really successful with their life now, to the extend that universities would hire them to come give a seminar. And the usual me look at my life and say things like, "Why can't i make it that far?"

Then my friend said something that really strikes me and the big light bulb got turned on on top of my head.

He said (not in actual word but he meant something like this), "You can't compare like that. Do you know how much sh*t he needs to go through to make it to where he is today? He got to so low at one point of his life then you can never imagine, but he made it through it and this is how he stand today."

That is true. You really cannot measure success. After hearing what my friend said about this long lost friend, it really give me a lot of inspiration. If he chose not to continue his struggle, he wouldn't have made it to who he is today. He chose to persevere through the difficult times, and simply because of this, he is successful in life today.

How many times have you given up your stand simply because it was too hard a struggle to go through? How many great opportunities have you let it fly by simply because it doesn't seem like an easy way to go? How many times have you chicken out on a risk you could have taken and made it simply because it seems to hazy to decide to go on?

I have to say, my life is so stable, there isn't much difficult times that i need to struggle through. i'm truly grateful for the kind of life i am having now, and i would kill to have this lifestyle maintained the way it is. i know i want to be successful in life, and i know i would make it someday, but please remind me my priority is not to earn all the money in the world, it's not to stand up high on top of everyone, it's not to be the most powerful person, but simply to have a life with no worries. I am successful if i can do this.

ChiM

Children's Day

2009-11-09T00:10:00.000+08:00

It's my last month with the company, if nothing changes, but i get 2 weeks in the office without my boss around.

He is going to be away for 2 whole weeks, in Europe for a road show with some other managers. And i go un-boss-ed for the next 14 days. This starts officially today :)

Children's Day is the term because kids going to school but not going for classes. Remember those time back in primary school, that time when final examination is over but school holiday is not here yet, and the cikgu's is not in the mood to teach for next year's subject?

That is the time when kids go to school not for education, but rather fun-ducation. When you think back to then, we were doing non-value added, time wasting activities in school when we could have taken those opportunities to study more, right?

Maybe for some, but not for me. LOL....

You only live once, stop whining and start living life. Have fun while you work, help out other people when they are in need, do charity.....all the good things you can think of.

You only live once, so does everybody else, so make it worthwhile for yourself, and for everyone else :)

ChiM

Out of Nothing-ness

2009-11-05T23:01:00.000+08:00

What do you want?

This is the question posed to me a lot recently. What is it that i want so that i will retain in the company?

i honestly don't know the answer myself. i just feel like it's my exit point, i feel like doing something new, i feel like making a big change in my life.....so i want to do them all.

What is it that i want to achieve? i don't know that either, in a way i am practically senseless on where i'm heading to, but i one lucky son of a gun. So far life has been really good to me, and decisions i've made never failed me yet. If it ain't luck, then most probably i'm making all the correct decisions, and i am heading to where i am supposed to head to in life.

i've always believed that i'm the master of my own fate. i decide who i want to be, how i want it to be and where i want to go. All this isn't written, it's not fated, it's not destined. It's the results of a decision i make today.

What i want? Still can't answer that, but i sure do know what i don't want.

i don't want to end up sleeping on the street. That is why i am earning as much as i can while i'm young, and managing my finances carefully. You know the wise people says, A fool and his money will soon part.

i don't want to grow old alone. That is why i looked and found someone i can live with, spend my life with, and grow old with.

i don't want to fall sick but cannot afford medical treatment. That is why i have insurance, and that is why i take care of myself well before i have a chance to fall sick.

i don't want to worry about money when the company is downsizing, and i'm in the list of possible candidates for retrenchment. This is where financial independence comes in.

Most importantly, i don't want my family to live a dreadful life. i don't want my wife to worry about paying the monthly bills too much, don't want to be not able to afford good education for my children, don't want to grow old but have to rely on EPF to survive.

All i can do now is to earn as much as i can as fast as i can while i'm still young, learn how to make my money work for me, and hope everything will turn out fine.

CHiM

A Drastic Change....

2009-10-21T00:48:00.001+08:00

.....that's the exact word SQ's dad used over the dinner table about my decision to go Singapore. It has been bugging me a lot although i've made the decision to move on, whether is this the right decision to make?

A lot to sacrifice in making this decision. i'm having hell of a good life in Ipoh. i've got a car here i can travel anywhere i want, at anytime i want. i've got a big room with air-conditioning, dinner prepared on the table every night i reach home. i've got friends and family. SQ is here. My entire life is here.

And it feels like i'm taking a risk, feels like i'm giving it all up, just to know how it feels to struggle outside in the huge concrete jungle. Life has been too good, and probably i'm trying to get out of my comfort zone, see what i can achieve when i'm still young.

i really don't know why i made this decision to move on. it wasn't logical at all, although i'm trying to reason out with the conversion rate. There are just too many things more precious than that to give up for. Perhaps like what i told my bosses, i really needed a change in my life.

Don't get me wrong, my life is good. A little too good, too safe for my age. i really hasn't risk much in life yet. Life is a risk after all. You don't risk it, you've never lived. And this risk i'm taking is considerably tiny compared to life threatening ones a lot of people face everyday.

Is this reasoning logical enough?

i really do hope i made the right choice, i really do hope things will turn out better then i expect them to be. i'm having my fingers crossed, even while i type this line here. wish me all the luck i can get, pray for me, call me from time to time to check on me in case i can't take the pressure and committed suicide. hope not.

ChiM

What Say You?

2009-10-09T20:04:00.002+08:00

Found this clip of a HK Radio DJ, practically scolding a 16 year old girl. Take some time to listen to this. A good thing to ponder about.

However, you need to know Cantonese to understand.

ChiM

Monophobia?

2009-09-29T12:01:00.000+08:00

Are you afraid of being lonely? Do you like the taste of not having people that care about you around you?

Ok, maybe afraid is too heavy a word to describe that feeling of anxiety. How about dislike? Is that a better word?

Rephrasing the question, do you like being lonely? You know that feeling at the end of a rough day when you come home and feel like talking to someone that genuinely care about you but there isn't anyone?

You know that feeling during all the weekends when you finally don't need to go work, when you finally don't need to think about all those issue in the office but you got no one to go enjoy your life with? And the worst thing happened when you realized that going back to work is in fact a better thing to do?

Have you ever been into that kind of a situation where all your friends are dating someone, or are married and with kids, and they are all a group of good people to hang out with during working hour but they miraculously vanished out of thin air once the bell rang at 6 o'clock?

How about when this best friend of yours, be it the opposite sex or not, with whom you always hang out with every single day of your life until suddenly one day this best friend of yours started dating someone and you're like second priority now?

Those are not good feelings i can tell you that. In fact by the way i described it you know how much i dislike it. i'm on the verge of being afraid of being lonely.

But everyone will go through this phase once in a while. When you're there, go out and meet more people. There are a million of being out there feeling just like you the same time you're feeling all those negativity overwhelming you. Just go out and meet more people.

But of course, do it carefully, safely and responsibly. Don't come back losing your life or even having another life inside of you. Sometimes when you're sad, that is the most vulnerable time where you will make a mistake. Just remember life is not always a high point, sometimes you will be at the bottom of the pit as well, but when that time comes, suck in a deep breath, embrace all those negativity, chew them up and spit them out because soon you'll get out of the pit and reach to the sky.

Never give up, have fun in life, but in careful, safe and responsible way.

ChiM

Man Over Board

2009-09-26T00:06:00.002+08:00

Well, i've just broken another record today. My very own personal best. This is the first time ever in this lifetime that i've reached this height, but this is one record i'm not happy to set.

This is one record that i've been dreaded so long not to break. This is the one thing that i've tried in vain not to achieve. This is the one thing that i've feared to happen, but in the end it came true.

i now officially weigh over 70KG

Darn!!

ChiM

Man In The Mirror - LeeHom Tribute to Michael Jackson

2009-09-22T20:43:00.004+08:00

You know? I've always loved this song by MJ, and i've always loved LeeHom. So now i get the best of both worlds. He bring a twist to the original flavor of the song, the softer side of it.

The song started with Er-Hu, and he brings the whole song with the rhythm of the piano and background singing. It's very soothing the way he did it, i loved it hope you do too.

*Note: Can't find a video yet, so just listen to the song at the moment, kay? ;-)

ChiM

It's been a while....

2009-09-13T22:27:00.002+08:00

.....since i last wrote anything in my blog.

There wasn't anything special to write about and there wasn't any special feelings that i would like to write about.

Well, that's not true, at least not when the news about Yasmin Ahmad broke out. I missed her still.

My life has been rather flat. Don't get me wrong, life is sometimes great that way. Like the old saying "No News Is Good New".

The only highlight recently would be i'm another year older. This year's birthday celebration is a memorable one. We had dinner, my family and i, the weekend before the actual day, then with my closest colleagues the day before, then with SQ & her family on the actual day. Lots of eating, yes.

And not to forget lots of birthday wishes, that's very touching, seriously.

Not that i don't want birthday presents, but it's really nice that friends that i have not seen for a number of years actually remembers my day, and that thought itself to me is really touching. Thanks guys!

ChiM

Matematik & Sains Dalam Bahasa Malaysia

2009-07-12T22:44:00.003+08:00

Sepertimana yang sudah diumumkan oleh pihak kerajaan kita, pengajaran matapelajaran Matematik & Sains dalam Bahasa Inggeris akan dimansuhkan pada 2012setelah sekian lama isu ini dibincangkan. Adakah benar ini suara rakyat? Adakah keputusan ini dibuat berdasarkan apa yang dilihatkan bagus untuk rakyat? Adakah ini salah satu cara kita akan mencapai Wawasan 2020, wawasan 1 Malaysia?

Adakah benar PPSMI gagal mencapai matlamat asalnya? Betulkah anak-anak kita sengsara akibat pengajaran subjek Matematik & Sains dalam Bahasa Inggeris?

Bolehkah negara kita maju seiring negara-negera lain di dunia dengan keputusan ini?

Pada pendapat saya, bukannya teruk sangat subjek Matematik & Sains diajar dalam Bahasa Malaysia, jikalau anda tidak ada perancangan untuk melanjutkan pelajaran diluar negara ataupun bekerja diluar negara selepas tamat pengajian. Boleh cukup makan kalau tinggal di dalam tanah air sendiri, tetapi jikalau anda melangkah keluar dari negara tersayang anda, maka sedarlah dari mimpi manis anda kerana apa yang benar adalah kita seumpama katak dibawah tempurung sahaja. Kita syok sendiri, tipu diri sendiri bahawa kita maju seiring negara besar lain di dunia. Betulkah kita seiring padahal kita tidak dapat menjawab pelancong luar negara apabila ditanya jalan. Kita cuma jaguh kampung sahaja.

Bukannya saya mahu merendah-rendahkan Bahasa Malaysia, tetapi isu berbelah pendapat yang kita dapat lihat sekarang berpunca daripada dua aspek. Pihak yang setuju kerana pelbagai sebab, dan pihak yang tidak bersetuju kerana satu sebab sahaja. Kita tidak ada keyakinan yang secukupnya bahawa Bahasa Malaysia dapat mendandang cabaran untuk digunakan sebagai bahasa perantaraan dalam pengajaran matapelarajan Matematik & Sains. Mengapa?

Cubalah buka kamus dewan, dan cubalah kira. Berapa perkataan yang anda dapat cari yang dipinjam dari Bahasa Inggeris ke Bahasa Malaysia? Tak faham?

Globalization=Globalisasi.....
Economy=Ekonomi....
Critic=Kritik....
Concept=Konsep....
Politic=Politik....
Theory=Teori.....

.....dan macam-macam lagi.

Kita cuba lihat isu ini dalam skop isu ini sahaja. Janganlah cuba mengatakan siapa bodoh kerana memansuhkan sistem ini ataupun siapa yang bodoh kerana benda lain. Adakah rasional jika matapelajaran Matematik & Sains diajar dalam Bahasa Malaysia? Keputusan sepatutnya dibuat berdasarkan apa yang terbaik untuk Malaysia, untuk rakyat, dan bukan satu, dua individu. Lihatlah impak dari keputusan yang dibuat secara menyeluruh dan berpandangan jauh, kerana rakyat yang sengsara sekiranya keputusan yang salah dibuat.

Penguasaan Bahasa Malaysia saya, bukanlah bagus sangat, setakat dapat berhubung dengan kawan-kawan saya yang berbangsa Melayu. Kawan-kawan bangsa India pula, kita bertutur Bahasa Inggeris. Kawan-kawan sama bangsa, cakaplah dalam bahasa kita sendiri. Tidakkah senario ini bagus kerana tidak kira apa bangsa jua, kita dapat berkomunikasi antara satu sama lain dalam satu bahasa universal, dan pada masa yang sama mempelihara bahasa ibunda sendiri. Bukankah ini apa yang orang putih kata, "Kill 2 birds with 1 stone"?

Bagaimanpun, saya memang harapkan pihak kerajaan kita boleh tarik balik keputusan untuk memansuhkan pengajaran matapelajaran Matematik & Sains dalam Bahasa Inggeris.

ChiM

Sleepy Head

2009-06-28T23:56:00.000+08:00

i must have gotten the sleeping spell, perhaps a witch cast it onto me. After visiting my sis in Kampar this morning, i slept through the whole afternoon until 4pm from noon time.

Not sure what has gotten into me that yawning seems to be an every 5 minutes thingy. I keep having the desire to sleep though it's not sleeping time yet. Is this a sign of old age?

As i was typing the previous line, i yawned again.

It's almost midnight now, and tomorrow got to go work, and the weather doesn't seem too hot to slumber. So i guess i'll give in to my inner desire to sleep and go sleep.

i just yawned again.

ChiM

Cake-kies

2009-06-28T01:49:00.000+08:00

Today is a fruitful Saturday, unlike most weekends when i just sit on by behind & play games throughout the whole afternoon and then again at night.

What activities i did which is so fruitful, you may ask. Well, first of all, i spent it with SQ, and second of all, for the first time ever, we made cookies together. Chocolate chip cookies.

We've done quite a number of couple activities together, but we've never gone into baking before, and finally today, we've done it. That feels kind of like we've moved on to another stage of our relationship again. That actually feel pretty lovely.

Anyway, after buying ingredients from the nearby Tesco, we came back to my place, move out all the tools we need for the baking & the preparations, placed all the ingredients we bought from supermarket on the table, and we started work.

As a reminder, we are making chocolate chip cookies.

First we beat the butter with brown sugar until smooth, then we added in the vanilla essence, and then egg, and then milk and finally flour & the chocolate chips.

Roadblock #1: How to put onto the pan?

I find this kind of difficult to do since the dough was very soft and sticky. So in the end we just use a spoon and drop all the cookies dough onto a pan and put the pan into the oven.

Roadblock #2: It's soft!

I thought the cookies will hardened up after it cooled down. Apparently not entirely true in my case. The outer crust is crunchy, just like how cookies should be but the inside.......it's not undercooked, just not hard.

So, instead of getting cookies, i called my result a cake-kies, since it's like eating cake.

Anyhow, it's a very fruitful day spent with SQ.

ChiM

A Tribute to The King of Pop: Michael Jackson

2009-06-27T00:49:00.001+08:00

i was literally in a lost of word when i heard the news on the radio this morning as i was driving to work. Michael Jackson has passed on at the age of 50 due to cardiac arrest. He was scheduling for his tour concert in London next month, but unfortunately, he couldn't make it till then.

i grew up watching MJ. i still remember watching his thriller mtv on tv. i was little but he made a deep impression as i was growing up. i remember seeing him appearing on tv for a good cause; trying to save mother earth, trying to stop wars, trying to stop poverty, trying to make the world a better place for you, for me and the entire human race.

There was no doubt that his life was tornado-ed upside down with lots of court cases and accusations of really bad things. There was no doubt his personal life was quoted as a "circus side-show". There was no doubt that his passion of changing his skin colour often striked him remarks like "Freak!". There was no doubt when people call him the King of Flop when he failed to re-achieve his own successes.

But there was also no doubt, that his unbreakable record selling Thriller still top the chart until now. There was no doubt about his talent, and his professionalism, and his effort to help save the world. There is no doubt he is irreplaceable in the hearts of each and every fan he has out there.

Michael Jackson, his life was never a smooth sail on a lake, rather swimming with the shark. He worked harder than everyone to be successful in what he does, and his contributions and love towards music has undoubtedly shaped what the industry are today. His passing away today is definitely a shocked to us all. Let us all remember him of his talents, contributions and passion for music and world peace.

Let's not cry, let's not be saddened for he will be remembered as the King of Pop forever.

ChiM

Positivity for a Change

2009-06-24T22:40:00.002+08:00

i just realized i'm posting a lot about the negativity i felt on that certain day when i blog. For instance i wrote "I'm pissed with Citibank" on twitter yesterday, and then just now i almost wrote "I'm pissed with JPJ".

Any other normal days i would post something like "I'm pissed with my Boss" or "I'm working with IDIOTS" or similar things like that.

That's not good. Not good at all.

Need to feel more positivity for a change. It spells P.O.S.I.T.I.V.I.T.Y.

For starter, this post is to start feeling positive about feeling positive =D

ChiM

Unexpected Meet Up

2009-06-21T22:44:00.000+08:00

I've been in a relationship with SQ for more than over 2 years now. How time flies! More than often i've met her parents over dinner and sometimes on trips. SQ on the other hand have met my side of the family as well, also over dinner from time to time.

The thing is, our parents have not officially met. My dad knows her dad as Dr. Hu, and her dad knows mine as Mr Chim. SQ and i did discussed this topic some time not too far back that our parents have not officially met, and that seems kind of strange since we've been dating since 2 years back.

Well, out of pure coincidence they met this morning over breakfast. SQ's dad is a frequent visitor to this dim-sum place in town, on almost every weekend i think. My dad on the other hand is pretty unpredictable on where to eat on Sunday mornings. In another word, we set out in the morning and drive towards the first place we can think of and eat there.

Since today is Father's Day, we all go out together, including my grandparents and my parents, to have breakfast together, which coincidentally my dad suggested this same dim sum place. And coincidentally because we had lunch date with my mom's side grandpa, we had to move breakfast earlier this morning and hence colliding with SQ's parents' breakfast time every weekend.

So many coincidence in a day, i think the odds of this happening is lesser than striking the jack-pot.

Anyhow, Happy Father's Day ;-)

ChiM

Gravity

2009-06-20T11:51:00.000+08:00

Lots of things happened around me lately. Not that these kind of things had never happened to anyone before but when it happens to people around you or even worst to you, you will feel the pinch.

Which makes me think that life is short, and when it's not it's pretty fragile. Not that i don't know about this already, but all the things happening lately just became a wake up alarm clock call to me.

i've got to start caring more about the people around me starting now. I've got a lot of friends but then i realize i know nuts about them. i've got a number of relatives and i realize i know nuts about them too. What kind of person am i when i don't know much about my own relatives?

That calls for Operation: Eagle Nest. Objective: Know everything about my friends & relatives like i know myself. Mission: Go visit friends & relatives more often and if possible, live off them for a long period of time to save cost. Reason for project name: No apparent one, just think that it's cool to call a boring mission with a great name. LOL

ChiM

Dementia?

2009-06-16T22:57:00.000+08:00

My grandpa, mom's side, got admitted into the hospital yesterday evening, and thanks to the very efficient working system of the Ipoh General Hospital, or must be known as Hospital Raja Permaisuri Bainun, the public can only visit during lunch hour and right before dinner time.

So i went to visit him during lunch hour today after settling my car loan at the bank. He was by himself when i reached, and i almost missed him the first time i walk past. When i spotted him, i walked up to him and greeted him and ask how he was feeling today.

So he answered me like how he normally would talk, and then he started asking me questions, really funny questions like where am i from? where do i stay? where do i work? And it actually kind of freaked me out a lot when he asked me my name.

Apparently my grandpa cannot recognize me. So i told him who i was, and then i continue talking to him a little bit more before leaving back to work. He remember me, but he cannot recognize me when i walk up to him today.

I told SQ, though she didn't do a good job consoling me, but she did make a point that when old people, especially those that had gone through stroke before tends to suffer from dementia. Though that's not good news, but then again it's better to know now and be ready that someday he might forget me.

A lot of things are happening around me lately, it might be a sign but i do not know of what. All i get is this feeling that i need to treasure the things i have, the people around me.

ChiM

Eye-Sore

2009-06-16T00:22:00.002+08:00

Must be the haze, i got irritated eyes the whole day. I was squinting my eyes into the computer screen in my effort to complete the report today. Too bad for me that didn't come through today, i didn't know how to conclude the study with the observations i got.

Anyway, got to go sleep now, hoping my eyes will get better tomorrow.

Bon Nuit~!!

ChiM

Condolence

2009-06-14T09:13:00.004+08:00

Life is unexpectedly short sometimes.......no, most of the time. You'll never know when is your time to go, and when you know it, it's already too late. You're gone.

This is a reminder to you to treasure the people around you, be it your parents, your grandparents, your siblings, your best friend, your colleagues, your neighbours. Treat them nice, be patient with them, listen to what they have to say, let them know you appreciate them. Trust me because if the last them you say to them before they pass on, is a harsh thing or a quarrel or something mean, it will haunt your conscience forever.

A good friend of mine, her mother passed away recently. It's really an unexpected turn of event. Her mother was not suffering from chronic diseases nor was it an accident. She just.......left. My friend found her in the morning, she had stopped breathing.

It's not an easy thing to accept for anyone. But if what had happened must happen, i don't think she would want it to happen any other way. Looking on the bright side, she wasn't suffering from illness when she moved on, it was really peaceful.

It had happened, nevertheless, and i'm sure she wouldn't want to see anyone continue shedding tears for her. I'm sure she would want to see everyone moved on with their lives, keeping her in memory, always remembering her.

I'm not particularly close to her mom, but she's one of those "moms of my friends" that actually remember my name. I remember her as a very cheerful person, quite naggy sometimes but it's definitely for the best of her children.

Have you told your parents how much you loved them today?

ChiM

Durian Durian I Heart You

2009-06-11T23:33:00.002+08:00

It's the season of the year again, but too bad yesterday night was the 2nd time i've eaten the King of all fruits: The Durian.

I said the 2nd time i ate, but the first time this year to indulge myself since the first time it wasn't really enough and it wasn't really nice.

i can't remember why, probably because both my parents are durian lovers as well. That makes me a freak for durian too.

Well, i just love food, we all know that, especially food with strong taste. Apart from coffee, cheese, mashed potato with bacon (something i find really good, courtesy of SQ), Durian is the next best thing ever.

The smell doesn't bother me, make that before and after i've ate it. The after effect doesn't bother me, which is heaty all over, durian smell lingers on my finger tip, blah blah blah......

Oh well, next time if you're thinking of durian and thinking of looking for some kaki's to go makan with you, now you know there's a kaki in me. Hehe :)

ChiM

Tweeter

2009-06-09T22:18:00.001+08:00

I'm officially on tweeter....though i still can't do it on my phone. It's only half as much fun if you can only do it with your computer. got to get a phone that can go online. dang......

ChiM

2 Weeks in Living Hell

2009-05-28T00:49:00.000+08:00

2 weeks in living hell, a metaphor i used on the dead line i have to complete a conversion project from a USD400K worth of ATE machine to a 10-years-ago ATE machine worth less than half the initial one. Perhaps i have to make it clear that usually a project fits very well into a time frame of 6 to 8 weeks. And now all 8 weeks worth of workload cramped into 2. That is what i meant.

But i have to give credit to my boss because without him, i WILL still be in the office now. If not because of him, i WILL still be stucked with the same stupid problem i had from last week. If not because of him, i WILL not be in living hell for 2 weeks, but maybe longer than that. Although i hate him most of the time, this is the very few moment that i have to thank him, and feel very grateful that he is around.

It's Thursday already, i'm still not quite done, and i'm still making changes to the schematic at this point, changing resources i want to use on the device pins. That is not a good thing, because that only means i have not finalize my hardware design, and the PCB layout is not done too. Tomorrow is my deadline, and i will need to answer to the higher management & the sales team on the outcome. Apart from that, i've not tested out the dual site program yet. Although the dual site program is simply a duplication of the single site program using different tester resources, but still with this device, i don't think it is going to give it to me easy.

That's almost all about my work in brief. i don't like to talk about work after working hour or when i'm not in the office.

Today is pay-day. Thank goodness. I've been negative RM500++ for the past month, thanks to Australian index fund & repairing my car air-conditioning system. So this month i'm starting the month with the amount of my pay less income tax & EPF less car loan, insurance, last month's over-expenditure less road tax & car insurance less giving parents pocket money less streamyx bill less maxis bill less petrol less credit card debt.......

Voila, i'm almost zero before a week of the new month has arrived.

Desperate for Another Job

2009-05-14T23:45:00.001+08:00

Need i say more about what i'm not happy about? i seriously am desperate to get another job.

Really hope the interview the other day went well. Got to pray hard that i got the job instead of the other guys who were on the interview list as well. May the best man wins.

i got all cranky at work today simply because my boss say i wasn't proactive enough. i may not be the most productive person in the whole plant but not proactive enough? Look who's talking to me about being proactive. But fine, i swallow it and continue doing nothing in the office because all my projects are on-hold. Another thing i hated about my job.

Then he called me in to his office & give me shit about me giving him wrong information that he wanted me to get but in fact he gave wrong instructions on what he actually wanted. Fire-cracker neck me just exploded and shouted. Let me just say this is not the 1st ever confrontation i had with my boss with me ending up screaming at him because i was damn pissed with his idiotic idea of doing work.

When this happens one too many times, do you think this is a place you can have a room to grow?

I desperately need another job.

ChiM

Happy Mommy's Day

2009-05-10T09:27:00.000+08:00

It's Mother's Day this weekend. Please spend more time with her today. Get back home if you're not already at home. If you can't make it back, please call home & chat over the phone for a couple of hours with her. If you ran our of credit please reload & then change your phone line to a post paid plan. Good excuse to change to iPhone too.

I know how sometimes parents can be too nagging & annoying, but nevertheless, it all came down with the reason that they love you and they are really trying very hard to show you that. So please give them a chance to show you how much they care for you. Take this opportunity, this occasion to take your mom out for dinner, or go on a shopping spree, or get her hair done & colored, or whatever stuffs your mom might enjoy doing.

If you have to work over the weekend, and you do not have much time, here's something you could do. Get her a cake & do a simple cake cutting ceremony with her at home. How about that? That's going to be like a pre-birthday celebration, only that she is not adding another year to her age calender.

Having said so, i brought my parents for sushi yesterday night for dinner. It was great, a bit rushing at the beginning because i had to make a small detour before reaching the dinner place, and i didn't make any booking at the place and the place was packed. But things turn out to be fine, we took a room, which gave us more privacy & comfort at the expense of we must dine with a minimal amount, else we will need to pay extra just for the room. Dinner was great overall, we chatted, we joked, we ate & we enjoyed the dinner pretty much.

Love thy Mom, for they have given your unconditional & untiring love & care to bring you up to how you are now. You have the capability to return your care for her now so do what you can to tell your mom you love her too.

ChiM

The Post about My Weekends

2009-05-03T21:33:00.000+08:00

i get this a lot during the weekends, "Didn't go pak toh meh?"

And i normally answer, "Weekends rest day mar...."

Not that i meant that i need a break from my relationship during the weekends, but i really don't know how to answer the question.

The fact is, i meet with SQ everyday after work since i work so near the place she stays. Sometimes we meet during the weekends as well. We'll go out for shopping, or walk around the mall, or catch a movie, or go dive into yummy ipoh food hunt.

So, the question is, does all couples in a relationship go out 'pak-toh' during the weekends only? So i'm all weird because i normally don't?

That is like only celebrating your relationship during Valentine's Day & normal day is normal day.

Love relationship to me is not like birthday; we don't need to celebrate it on a specific day. We celebrate it everyday. We live through it everyday, and be happy & grateful about it because you have someone to love & be loved in return.

Anyway, back to my weekends. Weekends are for my family. It's tradition to spend Sunday morning for breakfast, Saturday evening for dinner, and so forth on the smaller details.

How do you spend your weekends?

ChiM

Creation of Problems

2009-04-30T00:37:00.001+08:00

You know how people say that women & money are the source to all problems for men. True & Not-True at the same time.

True because that's the 2 things in this whole wide world that men will scratch off all the hair on their scalp over.

Not-True because usually they make it a problem for themselves to worry about.

Well, i'm one of those idiots who think too much, worry too much & in the end, create more problems that were not problem to begin with.

Do you know that curiosity kills the cat? i just noticed really, really recently how "curios" i am on knowing things about other people, especially when they do not want to tell me about it. The more you want to play mysterious with me, the more my guts wants to know.

And this is a problem.

As a guy, i think i should know when to stop digging & start respecting other people's privacy, and do what other "normal" guys would do to other people; "If it doesn't concern me, i don't give a f*ck about it" attitude.

Oh well......

ChiM

Issue of Trust

2009-04-27T23:18:00.000+08:00

How honest are you with your other half? Are you always completely honest or do you keep some parts to yourself to avoid conflict?

i've always thought the best respect someone have for their other half is to be completely honest with each other but apparently i'm wrong again. Couples need to hide facts from each other so they will not argure over trivial matter.

Is this right?

The problem must be with me obviously. Why would i want to know things that will hurt myself right? Or things that could lead to an argument right?

Assuming this IS right, how not-completely honest should a person be? 50-50? 85-15? How do you know the limits? How do you know the boundaries? How do you know you get your ratios right when you not being honest?

Isn't being completely honest an easier thing to do instead? Isn't being completely honest the right thing to do?

Well, i guess not. Let's just keep things to ourselves because they are just trivial matter that may lead to arguments, hence keeping them out of sight means out of mind.

i'm just being stupid. Please ignore this post after you've read it

ChiM

The Aftermath

2009-04-12T23:57:00.002+08:00

Things hasn't been going too well after the hike. I feel very much weaker, not sure if it's just coincidental or the mountain sucked me dry of all my energy.

Been feeling tired-out ever since the trip, wasn't feeling too well and when i finally did feel better, things got worst off after i went for a blood donation. Almost fainted, but luckily didn't.

Then i was hit with fever all of a sudden after work one night, which lasted until the next day. I even had to take off from work early. i was constantly feeling exhausted, pain all over my body, especially the back of my neck & shoulders.

Am i getting old or something?

ChiM

Done with Glory

2009-04-06T23:53:00.003+08:00

Well, the hiking trip is over......with a good ending of course. We all made it~!!!

ChiM

The Final Countdown - Part II

2009-03-25T21:33:00.000+08:00

Counting down for 3 more days.

Keeping my fingers cross for the rain to stay away during the hike.

3 more days and there i go.....

WooHoo......

Homeless

2009-03-21T12:12:00.001+08:00

i felt like crying. The feeling suddenly hit me when i saw him. i didn't like this feeling. it made me felt really uncomfortable. There he was sitting there on the floor cutting up paper boards. i stare a little while and walk slightly further away, towards my car and i looked back again. He was still sitting on the floor cutting up the same piece of paper board.

He was a homeless, old uncle. In his fifties maybe?

I don't know why i felt all emotional when i see him. i don't know him. i have never seen him before in my life. This is the first time me meeting him but all i felt was fear & tears. I don't know why. i just felt like crying all the sudden.

He was wearing a pair of shorts, halfway up his thigh kind of shorts. He was wearing a short sleeves polo t-shirt. He was wearing a red cap, and a pair of Japanese slippers. Lying around him were some plastic bags, a paper box, and more cut up paper boards. He was sitting on the walkway just right outside the Kopitiam.

As i was walking away, my mind is all about whether should i walk up to him and offer some warmth, or not. In the end i drove all the way home after doing nothing. I felt even more like crying on my way home. Home where my blanket, clean clothing, and bed are. All the warmth i needed on a cold night like right now where many homeless people out there are wishing they have right now. I should have offered him something. At least to make myself feel better.

i'm praying hard that it will not rain tonight, so the poor old man will have a warm night to rest himself in. i'm really praying hard that at least someone with a much better heart than i do will offer him a warm drink. i'm really praying that someone......anyone, please offer this old man an act of kindness that i failed to show.

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

Would you offer the old man some kindness? Or would you have walked away like me?

And i'm ashamed of myself for walking away......

ChiM

The Final Countdown

2009-03-21T01:06:00.002+08:00

I can't believe it's here already. Can't wait for it to happen. 8 more days and there i go.

8 more days.....

WoooHooo......

Leona Lewis - I Will Be

2009-03-09T01:32:00.000+08:00

This is sort of like a late post for me since this song is not that new anymore. I like this a lot and i think she sang it really well. So there you go.

There's nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me

All the pain, the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye and now I know
How far you'd go

[Bridge:]
I know I let you down
But it's not like that now
This time I'll never let you go

[Chorus:]
I will be, all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart

All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

[Verse 2:]
I thought that I had everything
I didn't know what life could bring
But now I see, honestly

You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe, cause you're here with me

[Bridge:]
And if I let you down
I'll turn it all around
Cause I would never let you go

[Chorus:]
I will be, all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart

All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

[Ending bridge:]
Without you I can't sleep
I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave
You're all I've got, you're all I want
Yeah

Cause without you I don't know what I'd do
I can never, ever live a day without you
Here, with me, do you see,
You're all I need

[Chorus:]
And I will be, all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart

All my life (my life), I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

[Chorus:]
I will be (I'll be), all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart

And all my life, you know I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

Marriage as a Commitment?

2009-02-28T23:59:00.000+08:00

For the past year, i've attended quite a number of wedding dinner, mostly from my friends or colleagues or SQ's friends. And every dinner i went to i'll hear people asking "When's your turn?".

Honestly, i'm not sure when is my turn. I've got a plan but it's still at such a draft phase that i really don't know when is the exact date this would happen. So when someone ask me when is my turn to tie the knot, i'll just answer soon.

It's very subjective, the word "Soon". Soon can be a year or two, or even a month or two depending on the urgency of the wedding ceremony. Some can be very urgent so that the stomach don't show too much before the wedding but hope that kind of fortunate situation will not happen to me.

But then i starts to wonder, what is the meaning of mearriage. Is it just something that couple do when they have been together for some time? Or is it something that couple do when they are growing older? Or is it something that couple do because their parents are pestering them to?

Don't get me wrong, i love SQ. In fact i can picture myself living the rest of my life with her, waking up next to her every morning, kissing her forehead before she dozed off at night, growing old with her. She's the most beautiful thing that had ever happened to me in this lifetime.

i don't mind marrying her of course but i really want to understand what is the meaning of marriage! How do i know if i'm ready to make this decision?

i'm not worried about the commitment, i'm not the lack-of-responsibility type. But how do i know if i'm a good husband? How do i know if i'm not? Is there "Husband for Dummies" selling in MPH? Is there any guides or reading material to refer to?

What about financial & career stability? i don't think i'm financially stable now, not to mention career wise. The expenditure will definitely be different once two people are married to each other, which normally is higher although both are working. Is that right? i really don't know.....

Anyway, i may be just thinking too much. i always thought i'm the happy-go-lucky type, but apparently not. i'm now officially the worry-too-much-about-everything type.

ChiM

For The First Time....

2009-02-09T00:17:00.000+08:00

i think 2009 started off in a pretty interesting way. For starters, there are a lot of '1st times' happening to me or around me but i'm a part of it or a witness to it.

For starters, interesting stuffs has been happening to my home state of Perak.

For the first time Perak is taken over completely by the opposition party and some improvements can finllay be seen made to the long forgotten town of Ipoh.

For the first time, party-hopping has been such a hit that assemblymen jump out & back into a certain party.

For the first time, Perak was on the front page of all the daily national newspapers for our jumping political issue.

For the first time i hear someone threatened to sue the DYMM Paduka Sultan of Perak, Sultan Azlan Shah.

For the first time, we have 2 Menteri Besar in Perak.

For the first time, i read riots happening outside the Istana Iskandariah Kuala Kangsar to the point where tear bombs needs to be fired.

For the first time, massive traffic jam that goes several kilometre of bumper-to-bumper crawl which lasted several hours due to road blocking at the exit to Jusco in Ipoh Garden East.

Apart from that, more closer to heart is work.

For the first time i've witness the economic recession hit so hard that so many people lost their jobs and i'm beginning to feel fear i might be next.

For the first time i'm experiencing the VSS program.

For the first time, i'm willing to have my salary deducted for the better good of the company.

For the first time, losing my job is not an option.

Also, there are other things that are even more closer to heart but it's too personal to disclose to the pool of limitless information. i guess that's what it means to grow up & survive in this society.

ChiM

The Ox-spicious 2009

2009-02-05T00:13:00.000+08:00

Well, it's almost over the celebration of the 2009 Ox-spicious year. Well, this lunar year started off in a very different way then all those years i've been celebrating so many years before.

They bad part is, the economy is still a slum. My company is already embarking on the voluntary separation scheme thingy. I'll get my pay-cut starting next month if i'm still keeping my job then. Still busy like hell at work. Having not enough rest for the past week. Shoes & slippers died off on me. Neck & shoulder pain. Didn't see May Lynn over CNY this year.

Well, the good part of it is that i started off with getting lots of angpow and blessings from a number of people i care about and they care about me. Then i had some really great gatherings with friends, colleagues, ex-colleagues, family, relatives & more friends.

Amanda drop by Ipoh with her Sis Alicia over the weekend. I had a great time meeting up with old friends from uni time. Too bad there wasn't enough time to show her around town more. I think i'm quite bad as a tour guide, couldn't get her to try out our most famous white coffee. I sure do hope she enjoyed herself over this short trip. i know i enjoyed it alot.

i asked my good friend in my company today if she thought i was different from the person i was almost 3 years back when she first know me. She say i didn't change too much, just happier.

i know who i got to thank for being this way. Definitely not my boss or my job. You know i'm talking about you right?

Thank you for making me so happy.

ChiM

Xin Tiao by Wang LeeHom

2009-01-12T21:35:00.003+08:00

心跳
Xin Tiao
Heartbeat

想跟我吵架我没那麽无聊
Xiang gen wo chao jia Wo mei na me wu liao
You want to argue with me. I’m not that bored

不懂得道歉我没那麽聪明
Bu dong de dao qian Wo mei na me cong ming
I apologize without understanding. I’m not that bright

好想要回到我们的原点
Hao xiang yao hui dao wo men de yuan dian
I really want to go back to where we started from

你又在哭泣我给不了安慰
Ni you zai ku qi Wo gei bu liao an wei
You are crying again. I haven't comforted you

我又在摇头有那麽点後悔
Wo you zai yao tou You na me dian hou hui
I’m shaking my head again disapproving of my actions. That’s that much regret.

爱情的发展已难以回头却无法往前走
Ai qing de fa zhan yi nan hui tou que wu fa wang qian zou
Love’s development is already hard to turn back, but I’m unable to go forward.

**
但身不由己出现在胸口两颗心能塞几个问号
Dan shen bu you yi chu xian zai xiong kou Liang ke xin neng sai ji ge wen hao
My body still won’t leave because of what is currently in my chest. Two hearts are filled with many problems.

爱让我们流多少眼泪
Ai rang wo men liu duo shao yan lei
Love makes us shed how many tears?

你的眼神充满美丽带走我的心跳
Ni de yan shen chong man mei li dai zou de xin tiao
Your eyes are brimming with beauty to carry away my heartbeat.

你的温柔如此靠近带走我的心跳
Ni de wen rou ru ci kao jin dai zou wo de xin tiao
In this way, your tenderness draws closer to take away my heartbeat.

逆转时光到一开始能不能给一秒
Ni zhuan shi guang dao yi kai shi Neng bu neng gei yi miao
Time has turned back to a beginning. Can you give me a moment?

等着哪一天你也想起
Deng zhe na yi tian ni ye xiang qi
I’m waiting for whatever day when you will also remember

那悬在记忆中的美好
Na xuan zai ji yi zhong de mei hao
That happiness hovering in your memories.

[Got the lyrics + translation from --> http://chinesemusicblog.com/forum/viewtopic.php?pid=85752 ]

First 7 Days of 2009

2009-01-04T00:45:00.001+08:00

Well, since we have a 7 days plant shutdown, i have practically no work to go to. I can't drive to work like i normally do everyday for the past two years plus. i can still wake up at that dreadful hour but i cannot go to work like i used to. Seems a bit sad i know but trust me, i'm actually liking it a lot.

Well, the first day is of course an off day. Unfortunately my sick bug was spread to my dearest, and so 1st day consist of a lot of bed-side caring for her. No complains for doing this. In fact i enjoy caring so much for her. Well, taking care of her is the least i can do as a boyfriend.

2nd day was spent with the first half of the day doing what i did the day before, and the second half of the day out meeting Ms Chan at her place. As usual, topic of conversation revolves around our blur-queen friend and our never-ending compliments to her which was rich of sarcasm. It was a fun get-together nevertheless.

3rd day is a stay at home day. It was raining since morning. Don't feel like getting wet so going out of the house is definitely out of negotiation. The whole day was spent in front of the computer gaming, facebook-ing, book reading, and afternoon napping.

Day-4 seems to be a better day. The plan is to have a day-trip to Kuala Kangsar to visit my sister at the NS camp. Not sure how the place looks like but hopefully it doesn't rain tomorrow, else i wouldn't want to go.

Day-5 i'm volunteering to be the chauffeur for my another sister. Have to fetch her back to Kampar to get some stuffs, and then will be running around town doing some errands for her. I'm driving. Guess my name is Ahmad that day.

Day-6 is the activity day. The plan is to go paintball with some colleagues. Hope it doesn't rain, else the plan will be cancelled no matter how much i don't mind getting wet from the rain. How are we going to play in the rain? Like i say, even if i don't mind, that doesn't mean the rest of the people will be as determined as i am.

Day-7 is of course the worst day of all the 7 days because the next day is going-back-to-work day. Nothing on for that day yet but seemingly i might be staying at home doing nothing. Hope going back to work doesn't suck as much as i think it will be.

ChiM

Good is Bad

2008-12-20T12:55:00.000+08:00

This is the time when people would usually put up a list of what their 2009 new year resolution would be. I'd like to do one too when i can still afford the internet, but let's not make it too extravagant.

I think i'll list down the top 20 things i most want to accomplished before year 2009 ends. Counting down from number 20.

20. Continue to make myself a better drinker so i would not embarrass myself when i go out to drink with my friends. Facts & figures have officially proven that i am a terrible drinker. I've improved slightly over the past year, but still i continue to stay tomato-red once alcohol enters my blood stream. Must improve this further.

19. Make it a habit to jog. Well, since swimming is out of the question at the moment, and hiking needs driving to, jogging suddenly seems to be the cheapest way to exercise, cardio at least. Let's make it a habit to run at least once a week.

18. Cut down on being mean & sarcastic. i think i'm growing to be pretty sarcastic most of the time if not mean. So i should really tone my voice down and tone my sarcasm down before i got no more friends left.

17. To have a 6 figure savings in my bank account in front of the decimal number. Well, for the past 2 years, i've been saving pretty diligently so that i would have enough cash flow in times of crisis in case i were to invest some of my money. i think now should be the best time to start planting my money into proper channels instead of depending solely on earning from monthly salary.

16. New laptop. Well, more like a tablet would be nice. Although it's smaller, and more expensive, but it's really more convenient to bring it about than to lug around a 17 inch. Yes, the screen may be smaller but i can always pull out a second screen into a larger LCD for entertaintment. Well, let's see what i can get with my budget next year.

15. A career change decision. This is long over due actually, but a decision needs to be made in January. Most probably i'm going to do it, but the question is full time or part time. To be or not to be? That is THE question now.

14. Scout for a new house location. Just got the stakes higher now, need to get a house before i can commit myself to a lifelong commitment. No need to buy but at least have a targetted area as to where should i get the property landed on.

13. Stay POSITIVE. i think i've turned gloomy quite a lot ever since i started working. Although the rate of me turning pessimistic is not as terrible as most people i know, still i find i'm going at the exponential direction. Therefore, needs to stay optimistic no matter what happens, because by staying positive will i be able to solve the problems that lies ahead.

12. Spend lesser on food and entertaintment, more on investment & savings. For the past 2 months, there were literally no savings going into my bank account as i have to pay for miscellaneous stuffs like CNY clothes, KK Trip downpayment, etc etc etc. Needs to cut down on really good food, and going to the movies. Especially when they began deducting my salary in March, when my annual leave balance can no longer sustain the force leave the company is implmenting.

11. KK Trip. This will happen in March, so the goal here is simple. Reach the TOP~!!

10. Plan for a romantic Year-2 Getaway with a surprise. This is a tough one, but this is something that i must spend some money on. No idea on what to do yet, but this will definitely come true. This must come true.

9. Have a nice dinner & chit-chat with Amanda. We had an overdue appointment from way-back. Knowing that i hate to owe people, especially my friends, i think i should get this off the back of my head before it got digested into poo.

8. Do my jobs properly. Well, i made this resolution last year, so this year should do the same. There's no such thing as performing too well. We should always look ahead to improve ourselves even though we're already good. What's more when i'm not the best around, the even more reason to continue to improve myself on my jobs. Both my jobs for now.

7. Learn how to paint nails. Tried this but i suck at it. Think i should learn to do it properly since SQ had been nagging me to help her do French manicure. Let's try this ok?

6. Get a photo album & snap more photos. I piggyback to my mom when she took her pictures to develop. So now i have a small collection of pictures in hard solid copy of me & SQ. So need to get a nice photo album to put those in. Furthermore, everytime we went on a holiday, we don't take much pictures of us together. Reasons include no 3rd person to hold the camera for us, no nice view to take pictures at, forgot to bring camera, shy, etc etc etc. Since there will be numerous events where we will be travelling together, more pictures of us should come.

5. Do charity. Ever since i left Uni, i haven't been a good person. I haven't been going to the temple, i haven't been doing much voluntary work, haven't been involved in recycling activities, didn't do any charity in fact, etc etc etc...... I know it's not like i'm doing a lot during Uni days but at least i'm involved in some. Now is totally ZERO. Should do more good deeds.

4. Beat someone up. It's rather ironic as i was saying do good deeds and now something so extreme on the other side. There's someone i have a grudge on. I know hatred cannot be ceased with hatred, only with love can hatred be ceased. Well, let's tell that to him after i beat the crap out of him. Let's hope i get to sink my fist into his face. Let's just put this on and hope i get the chance. If you see my locked-up, you know what happened.

3. Never allow another drop of tears to fall down her cheek. Well, i've had my fair share of riduculous period, and tears dropped because of my idiocracies. Let's not allow that to happen again.

2. Watch a movie where i will cry. SQ told me she's seen me in a lot of emotions and facial expression except the one when i cry. I can't think of a reason to cry, and i don't hope really terrible things happen. So let's find a good cry movie to watch and.....CRY.

1. As usual, COMPLETE everything on the list before year 2009 ends. Normally i fail to accomplished most on the list, therefore, this is not doable as well. But anyway, let's just wait and see what will happen to me.

Done, a list of actions i need to accomplished starting next year. Let's see if i can accomplish all of them.

ChiM

The Announcement Made

2008-12-03T23:32:00.000+08:00

We've finally got down to our bended knees and admit to the rest of the competing world that even us, the mighty sub-con of Ipoh is unable to proceed without making sacrificial offerings to the economic downturn.

It's about time. Thanks so much for keeping our blood pumping with the suspense of guessing whether or not we will suffer the same fate as most our competitors and customers, even vendor companies, of the 3 steps strategy to maintain the business.

We're in step 2 now, with the first being "Freezing hiring, year end increment and promotions". That was officially announced effective till the end of our current financial year, and it ain't December 2008. Obviously the least impact to employees.

Well, step 2 is the less intriguing one being "Force Leave". The news just got out from the oven, freshly baked today. All of the highs & lows in position in the whole of department needs to take off 4 days in December. If you're still holding onto some unspent annual leave, it's your lucky month to be able to clear some annual leave. If otherwise, there will be a hole in your wallet.

Step 3 is the most fearful one, but this has not been implemented just yet. It's called voluntary separation scheme (VSS), in simpler english, we're cutting you off from our head count but we're giving you compensation for doing so. Hope this will not happen though.

But of course, i still have plenty of unspent annual leave, sufficient for the company to implement force-leave of 4 days monthly for 3 months. However, when i go into month number 4, i will be in deep shit. Why? Because i would've finished all my annual leave by then and i need several days off end of March next year. That will come out from my pocket.

Times are bad, it's only wise to save more, and spend only on the necessary. i'm foreseeing myself going into the 3rd month without monthly savings, thanks to my overspending and insurance payment for the past 2 months, and the year end traveling.

Are you as badly affected like us in the semi con field?

Should i? Should i not?

2008-11-23T12:01:00.000+08:00

I've been saying this phrase a lot lately, "At a time like this...", mostly referring to the downturn in the economy affecting major countries in the world.

And every time i say it, i meant it in a very gloomy way. There's no doubt the time is very terrible now, especially if your cash flows are tied up in the forever plunging stock market, or in the escalating property market, or even if you are being laid-off from your company which you've spent half your life working your butt off for.

Again, at a time like this, what would be the best decision to make to survive this downturn without affecting much of my normal lifestyle?

You know how an idle mind is the devil's workshop. It's been slightly less busy at work lately, and knowing me, i always think it's a waste of youth to not make the best out of the most energetic 10 years of my working age. To me, what you could gain when you're young is always an advantage when you're older.

Right now, lots of things are on my mind, lots of decisions to be made. Decision not about where to go for holiday or where to eat for dinner, but of a life changing one. A decision once made, will completely change my life, my attitude, myself.

Should i do it or not?

At a time like this, working an extra job is always a good thing. Not only at a time like this of course. So should i or should i not. My dead line is January.

Should i or should i not?

ChiM

Economic Recession

2008-11-16T23:04:00.000+08:00

There has been so much of bad news, rumors going around that there will be forced-leave in the company. It's not all that bad because it's already a fact that some customer company is laying off their employees. Compared to them, i'm pretty lucky to still be able to keep my job.

Maybe let's not compared to the extreme cases. Not all customer companies are laying off people. There are also companies that are just implementing forced-leave, this strategy in an attempt to reduce overhead cost in running the company. It's already a known fact in some customer companies as well as our competitors that have implemented this in their organization. In our case, everyone is talking about it, gloomy as ever but still no firm news that we are going to do this as well.

Although doubtful we will not, i still hope they won't implement this for too long a time. When this happens, only the people at the bottom of the organization pyramid suffers the most. Me in the middle class range of the pyramid will not be spared as well.

One thing good is, my pay is not high enough to get the big envelope in case we start laying off people. Not sure this is actually a good thing or not. I mean it's good not to get laid off by the company, but my pay is still not high enough after 2 years of working with the company.....well, that's something i need to ponder about.

Anyway, at times like this, just like how everyone says,let's be more prudent in our spending. Not to say don't spend at all, but most likely that HTC Touch needs to wait a little while more.

Miskin Kaya Apa Bezanya?

2008-11-02T00:10:00.001+08:00

Well, there's a hell lot's of difference between miskin & kaya but it all depends on rich & poor in what sense when we discuss about this topic. It's not necessarily about monetary wealth. It could be about your healthy, it could be about your social life, it could be about your working lifestyle.

You can be rich AND poor at the same time. You're wealthy young man who only dine imported steak & the finest wine in the house. You earn 5 figures daily without even going to work yourself. Monetary wise Kaya. Of course God is fair if he's there. You as this young man, die at age 30 because of cancer. Miskin in health. Ironic right?

Everyone wants the best of both world but no one wants to compromise to give and not to expect anything in return. In times like now when the economic crisis are bound to hit us in less than 2 months, everyone is scared, everyone is worried that they will lose out if they give more than they receive.

You never lose out when you give more than you receive.

Maybe on your accounts book it does but what you gained from giving is unmeasurable. You can weigh kindness. You can't measure kindness. If you are the hand that stretch out to a drowning man today, you won't know how that drowning man will help you in the future. Even if he doesn't, it does no harm to save someone. Do you always need to charge someone a fair sum of money before you save them?

It does make a difference with you being Miskin or Kaya, and i meant in the sense of kindness towards others. If you have the ability, the capability to give, that doesn't prove that you are far more superior than other people. It simply means that you are blessed with the choice to help other people, and helping other people who needs them are the greatest weatlth in the whole world.

An act of random kindness today, brings smiles and laughter to the face of our children tomorrow.

And perhaps that is the greatest gift we can give to our children, and their children when we're no longer here.

The greatedst wealth is not how much money you have in your bank account or how many condominiums you own, or what car you're driving around town.

The greatest wealth is not how healthy you are when you don't take care of your health, you drink often, sleep late often, smoke often but you still don't die.

The greatest wealth IS the ability you have to give to others, and you choose to give to others your kindness. This is something you can't buy with money. Pure kindness.

ChiM

Saturday = Rest Day

2008-10-19T00:44:00.000+08:00

It's finally Saturday. A week filled with sweats and calf muscle exercise is indeed tiring. And finally Saturday is a rest day. Doing nothing but rest, rest, rest and rest.

Friday was a historical day ever since i started working. It's the first time ever for the past 2 years the whole factory was not functioning. The reason due is some power cable burst somewhere.

So the whole day is like honeymooning except that we're behind bars and without air-conditioning. Knowing me a person without much patience, we're waiting in our stuffy office without proper air ventilation just for 6.15pm to come.

A lot of my work is delayed just because of this incident. I was planning to go KL next weekend for a short trip away from work. I'm not sure if i can finish my work in time for this trip or not. Hopefully i can because i've already bought my bus ticket down, and i want to enjoy my trip properly.

It's raining out there, cool breeze is blowing, the sound of rain drops onto the ceramic rooftop rhymes perfectly with each other. I'm sure it's perfectly comfortable to be snuggling under the blanket with you now.

Short Short Short

2008-10-13T23:22:00.000+08:00

Arrgghh.....i'm hit with writer's block. So many times i've written something halfway and then i don't know what to say. When that happens, i stop writing & delete everything i've typed.

I used to write about how i feel. Ever since i've started working, my feelings have gone from exciting to alsmot completely blank.

There are so many things i'd like to complain about but all of a sudden, it all just go blank. There are so many things i would be angry about, but just after a blink of an eye, it all just go blank.

So it's precise to put on my facebook status "Chim is feeling BLANK".

But today, i'm feeling tired, and amused. I was supposed to be very busy this week, but just a twist of fate, my "very busy week" turns my "very busy next week".

And i was thinking to take next friday off to go down KL. Seems like the plan needs to be called off. Hopefully i can still go on Saturday.

Anyhow, this is all i can write about today. Hit with the block again. Blank again.

ChiM

Why So Serious?

2008-09-24T12:15:00.000+08:00

I suddenly recalled the quote by Heath Ledger's version of Joker. "Why so serious?"

Really, why so serious?

Why so serious about how much we're paying for petrol? If you're earning enough why mind spending the tip of the iceberg? Unless of course if you're not earning enough, then that is definitely your problem because if someone else can earn enough for it, then why shouldn't you?

Why so serious about who's going to be government? What's even going to change if there really is a shift in power? The parliament is not about one person, it's about speaking for the people of this nation. Why so serious about who's the government if the people governing it are good people?

Why so serious about what someone say in their blog? How sensitive is an issue that you need to pull out an act created to safeguard the security of this country in case of terrorist attack or in a massive confusion state?

Why so serious when your ex-girlfriend talk about their ex? She's with you now, so doesn't that matter the most?

Why so serious when you boss scolds you? Everyone got a temper, so do you, except that you're not the boss so you can't just scold someone. You can work your way up, and when you're the boss, and you can start scolding someone, think again "Why so serious?"

Why so serious about whose mistake is when there is a problem? Isn't the most important thing when a problem arise is to solve it and not pointing fingers everywhere except to yourselves? Isn't the most important thing when you see a problem is to think about how to prevent it from happening again the next time instead of blaming other people and make sure it's their responsibility to do it?

Why so serious about the public examination when no matter how good your results are you still don't stand a chance to get into the local university with your preferred course? Isn't trying your best good enough?

Why so serious about whether or not you're getting a promotion at the end of this year or whether or not you're getting a salary increment the end of this year when you know the more the company give you the more you have to make yourself deserve the pay you're getting, and the only way to make it worthwhile is to do more work than you already are?

Why so serious about who you grow close with in the company? They are still your colleagues no matter how close you grow close to each other. If you work together, there are no friends.

Why so serious? In fact, why so serious at all?

The 'S' Word

2008-09-17T00:52:00.000+08:00

Gosh, this is dedicated to Amanda. I'll start with....

Sweet
Sugar
Sassy
Simplicity
Stylish
Strength
Sanctuary
Sacred
Sea
Seasons
Safety
Soft
Secrets
Symbolic
Shimmering
Silence
Shy
Slow
Soothing
Soulful
Semiconductor
Submarine
Schematic
Simulation
Square
Sportsmanship
Scoreboard
Sophisticated
Selling-point
Soya bean
Salami
Satisfaction
Strive
Success
Sharing
Sparkle
Scar
Schizophrenic
Stereotype
Shame
Scream
Stress
Survive
Seduction
Sex
Sensual
Squirt
Smooch
Shatter
Solitude
Sleep
Sunday
Sloppy
Stand-point
Self-esteem
Self-respect
Self-preservation
Self-control
Self-discipline
Self-supporting
Self-satisfactory
Starting-point
Starry starry nights
Seventy-seven

And of course....

Silly-Me

The L Word

2008-09-08T23:17:00.002+08:00

Love
Lovesick
Lovemaking
Laughter
Life
Leisure
Luxury
Ladies
Lipstick
Lollipop
Lavender
Leader
Lesson
Learning
Literature
Legacy
Legitimate
Leopold
Liqueur
Lonely
Lullaby
Lunatic
Lewd
Lust
Liar
Lonesome
Long-distance

L is also for the way you LOOK at me......

A Letter To Myself

2008-08-17T23:50:00.000+08:00

Dear Me,

It seems funny at times to talk to myself, but then who would understand me more than me, myself? But then again, sometimes when i think i know myself well enough i'm actually confused with what i really need.

This year have been a year with lots of choices. Although it hasn't ended yet, but i think there are lots of choices coming my way. I've always wanted more choices to choose form in life. I think that if a person can afford to have the luxuries of being able to choose his way of life, then that person is successful. What i meant by choices is not just merely what to eat for breakfast, or where to dine on Valentine's Day, or how much can i spend on a daily basis. To me, choices is more like how i want to live my life.

i really don't want to be stucked in the rat race, but of course, who would want to? It's the law of the majority that you have to work to eat! And the rules to this game changes on a periodic basis. As people gets smarter, we have more competition. To survive in a competition filled society, one must at least be able to cope with the competitive nature of work, if not being ahead of it. But then, what i've seen in the "real" working life isn't what i thought it would be.

To be really honest with myself, i think of the working place a more awful place to be. No kidding. But then what i see is something slightly different. Some people would view it as a blessing but i think it's like a cancer. It slowly eat you out, and when you realize it's killing you, it's too late. What i was really referring to is the working attitude of people in this country.

"Cannot finish, leave it to do during OT lor!" or "Tomorrow only do lar. They're not going to pay you more if you finish this today!". Sounds familiar? i say out these words from time to time too. It may not be a good culture to make the workplace over competitive, but i really don't see much competition going on in this country. No one is striving to the best anymore. Hey, being second is jsut good enough, that's what they say.

This is the problem with the culture of this whole place. You know you never want to be just like everyone else. Stick to your principles, stay true to your thoughts, work hard and work smart.

Yours truly,
ChiM

Disgusted

2008-08-10T20:25:00.002+08:00

i'm feeling disgusted to read the news yesterday but was more disgusted with what our next-to-be PM.

And i'm talking about the demonstration by some Islamic activist in front of the BAR council's office on their open forum on a so-called "sensitive religious" issue.

The forum titled to be "Conversion to Islam: Article 121(a) of the Federal Constitution" was forced to wrap-up after started barely an hour.

Now, everyone knows i'm not a political analyst, and i'm not a religious activist either. I love my country and i want to be proud of it, but there are just so many idiots out there trying to make our country look like a shit hole in the eyes of other countries in the world, that makes me feel sad and ashamed to be a Malaysian.

What happened to our freedom of speech? What happened to our multi-racial rights? Coming back to this topic, why does this bunch of idiots have to demonstrate and cause a riot to force-close a behind-the-door forum inside private grounds? What rights do they have? They claimed we're touching sensitive issues in the Islamic religion, but what part of it is sensitive? Is Islam, this religion so closed minded that they cannot even accept someone else talking & debating about it? Is it that weak that it cannot be challenged by others? Is it so weak that it cannot accept a different point of view?

I truly doubt that. I may not be a religious person, and i may not be a Muslim by nature, but what i do believe deep down in my heart, a good religion is suppose to help people. It is supposed to be open-minded. It is supposed to be forgiving. Buddhism. Christianity. Hinduism. Islam. How diferent are they? Aren't all these religion supposed to be the light for those in need in the dark? Aren't these religions supposed to be a role model so that their believer will never stray from the path of righteousness?

What i see from this protest on the forum is not Islamic. It's just a bunch of idiots claiming to be Muslim trying to get on tv. They are just destroying the beauty of the religion.

Ok, maybe they are not educated enough to accept 3rd party opinions. Fine. I can accept that. What disgust me the most is what our very own next-in-line-PM said to the press, that the BAR council is 'stubborn' to organize such forum despite knowing the possible consequences of such events.

Seriously, i can understand if anyone on the road say this kind of remarks, but our deputy prime minister? He will be our next PM if everything goes well, and him making such a remark, do you still want him as your country's PM after the next election? I know i don't.

What will happen when he steps up? Will our country stand strong amidst other giants on the world & not fall? With what our leaders are doing now, i doubt it. Our country hasn't grown any stronger for the past 20 years, when all other countries with the same status as we were at that time have all grown to be a developed nation. Why are we still so left behind? Our ringgit didn't even grow a bit. Look at our neighbouring countries. Their currency has been going strong linearly year by year. Everyone else are improving but us.

Our country is weak, not because the people is divided. Not because of racial discrimination between races. Our country is weak because of leaders who do not know how to lead, blame it on others when they make mistakes. Our country is weak because our so-called-leaders do not believe we are not doing well enough, they believe we shouldn't be compared to other developed nations but we should be happy we're not like Zimbabwe. No offence there.

Malaysians are not stupid anymore. We're all very educated people now. We know what is right & what is not. We know how to choose, because we know we can. Look at our election results this year. This is just the first wave of what the people of the country is trying to tell the government. It's a Do-Or-Die situation now.

I met up with a friend of mine in Singapore last week, he commented that the chaos the government is in now between them & the Pakatan Rakyat, can be closely relate to a movie slogan.

The movie is AVP: Alien vs. Predator. The slogan is, Whoever Wins, We Lose. The clash of the titans to see who is the strongest, but no matter who wins, the people of this country is still on the losing side.

Untitled

2008-07-01T00:48:00.000+08:00

What's did those sayings says again? Sadness divided, happiness multiplied when you share them with your friends?

But you see, being a friend doesn't get over-time pay. Being a friend still needs to sleep like everyone else before tomorrow starts again.

And i love them enough not to wake them up at this ungodly hours during the weekdays.

i'm feeling emo again. All of a sudden, i seriously don't know why.

Those self-doubting questions keep popping up in my mind. It's more like some flashing images of the fraction of my imagination on things i could have done better but didn't or could never be possible for me to do but how much i wished i could have done it.

i always remember this phrase my dad told me, "Take care of the future, and the future will take care of itself". Well, i'm trying to take good care of the future, but what if my taking care of the future is not sufficient for the future to take care of itself?

But, i wouldn't know right? Maybe i am doing good enough. Maybe i'm doing better than good. Maybe i'm doing marvelous. But i wouldn't know, would it? Well, at least not until the future is here, and then i look at the report card & thought to myself, "Damn, i should've studied that chapter."

Or like, what if i was there when he was being a jerk? Maybe i could stop all those pain she went through? Maybe if she had other choices then she wouldn't be hurt so much. Maybe if i was there then i could be a choice. Maybe. Maybe, but i couldn't be, could i?

So, now i'm telling myself, once i'm done with this post, i'm going to turn off my laptop, switch off the lights, strip down to my undies, and go to bed, sleep tight, and fight again tomorow.

She always tell me when i'm being emo, "You can't be hyper all the time right?". She makes me feel that sometimes i take too much responsibility onto my shoulders, and i should sometimes let go of them a little while before moving them up again. She's always been so supportive of me.

And so now, i'm putting down my shoulders to rest. They're not broad, so they can't take too much load for too long. They need rest. i need rest.

good nite.

ChiM

Seventy-farking-eight-cents

2008-06-04T23:35:00.000+08:00

That's what came ramming through each & every brain cell of mine when i got the news of the price increase for petrol this time. seventy-farking-eight-cents increase for petrol.

After weeks of committing to the people in the country that they will not lift the subsidy for petrol and this time's increase is seventy-farking-eight-cents. Is that all they can do in disappointing the people once again?

It's not just a pinch this time. This is a hard blow to my lower jaw, and i'm still feeling the pain.

In case you don't know how big an impact this is, let me give you some calculation facts.

With my old 2nd hand run-down 9 years old proton saga, i can run a 300km with RM50 of petrol, which is roughly about 26.042 litres of petrol in my tank on the old petrol price.

Now with the increase of seventy-farking-eight-cents, and with the same RM50 of petrol, i can only get a tank of 18.53 litres of petrol. With this much petrol on my car, i can only go 213.35km.

The percentage i have to pay more just to go to work is now 40% more. i hope my boss read blogs and i most definitely hope he's reading this now and start doing something. Else i really cannot afford to go to work anymore with this petrol price leaking out my wallet.

And they are increasing another times in August? Is that true?

ChiM

How Would You Know?

2008-05-21T00:36:00.000+08:00

i was reading a blog the other day. A friend of mine wrote it. Quite a close friend in fact. And she blogged about how she she is coping with the after effect of her breaking-up with her now ex-boyfriend.

I must say it is a long term effect done onto her, since the break-up was almost 2 years back now. I was rather surprise that she is still not ready for another relationship.

She started off jokingly with how her relatives questioned her about getting a special someone since we're all not that young anymore. And then i think she got a little emotional and started telling how hard she find it hard to give her heart out to trust someone again.

We've been friends for many years now, and we've been close friends. I can feel the way she did when she wrote that post, those specific lines, filled with pain.

And i really wished that she can slowly let someone into her heart once again.

I've always thought i'm a lucky person to be able to find my way back into love everytime. It's either that or i'm one heartless son of a bitch. Sorry mom. i don't mean you, it was just an expression.

How do i know how she feels? Well, i've been through break-ups as well; twice with one & countless with the other. I've been to the bottom of the deepest canyon of sorrow before, but thanks to my friends i was pulled all the way up again. That's why i treasure my friends so much in my life.

There were times when i needed someone so badly i cried myself to sleep, without anyone knowing it.

There were times when i lost all confidence in myself to the extent i do not dare to look into the mirror.

There were times when my heart ache so much i feel like giving myself up.

I know at times i tend to be a little bit over-emotional, perhaps that is how i am. i rely on my heart too much to make a decision for me when i needed the most rational decision ever. And we all know when you listen to your heart, not your head, the best things may not come all the time.

There is always a "But" in everything. Never give up. Going through pain is a growing up process. If one have never lose something, he will never learn how to appreciate.

I remember the first time i was in a relationship, i would blame her for every negative emotion i feel. Blaming her for causing all the pressure on me. Now when i think back, i feel like slapping myself for being such a jerk.

Then i thought i learn something form there, and improvise from the second. And i got hurt instead. When my defensive mode comes up, she got hurt in return. It took us 4 years to end it. Now when i think back, i feel like slapping myself again for all those tears she drop because of me.

This is the third time cupid shot me. I'm still wondering if i'm doing a good job as a boyfriend. Am i patience enough, am i sensitive enough, do i care enough for her.

I know i want this more than anything else to work out because i don't think i can ever find someone else as supportive, as understanding, as appreciative of how i am, what i want to do, and who i want to be.

I know we might not be the perfect couple, we might not look very good together, maybe i'm not good enough for her, maybe there are things that neither of us can accept of each other.

Like i say there is always a "But". i'll do whatever it takes to make this work. Because i know i want this more than anything else.

"WE" will be a year soon. Looking forward to it.

ChiM

Most Unexpected

2008-05-10T00:20:00.000+08:00

I'm in a dazed now, not knowing how to decide for my own future.

Have you ever plan for one thing & try your very best to make sure that thing that you planned for will materialized but then in the end it doesn't really work out, then you just moved on knowing that you've tried your best and everything else will be left to God to decide?

And so you have moved on, having new goals to strive towards, looking forward for other things to happen in your life. When you think everything is going well, all of a sudden the previous thing that you tried so hard to try make it come true just pop out of no where, offering you a whole new opportunity to involve yourself in it.

But you've moved on. You have new goals in life now, new dreams. And you have moved on from the things that you've tried to make work but didn't happen.

When this happen to you, how do you decide? Do you continue on with your new dreams for now, or postpone the new dreams and make way for the old one?

i was striving hard, trying to get a place in a local university for a master course, but since my application went in late without complete requirements & paperwork, i gave up hope knowing that they management of the university will reject my application anyway.

Then i move on, make new plans, start new business, and when i least expect it, a mail from the university came, noticing me of my success in my application for the course. Now, i have other plans in line to do, my liquidity is bound to be channeled for other usage, and i've divided my time almost so evenly for my current dreams. How do i make a choice?

Although i believe if i manage to think this through myself, making no mistake over my decision and never regret about the decision made any time in the future, i would grow up a slight bit, i also believe i may not be able to think this through myself.

So what do you think my friend? Should i or should i not do?

ChiM

What Goes Around Comes Around

2008-04-20T11:40:00.001+08:00

What is your mentality when it comes to convenience?

Would you ever double park beside the road or park behind another car just so that you can have a convenient parking spot right in front of the mamak stall you want to dine in?

Would you stop your car in the middle of the road, get down from the car with the engine still on and run to the shop nearby to get a pack of cigarette?

I'm sure you would agree there are a lot of idiots out there who do all this kind of stuffs simply because it's such convenient to them. Anyway, it doesn't harm anyone right? Well, maybe just take a few minutes off everyone's time, but hey, what harm can a few minutes of waiting do? Right?

Wrong.

If you think this is right, it means you are a self centered person, who thinks the world revolve around you and you are the center of the whole universe and you don't care what happen to other people as long as it doesn't bother you.

Oh, you might say, hey, i'm not the only one around who's doing like that. If i don't do like everyone is doing that means i'm an idiot. I'll be an outcast.

Wrong again.

How the society is today is simply how everyone who lives in it builds it. If each and everyone of us just so selfish, what do you think will happen to the place we live in? It might be just double park today, but if this goes on, it will grow into something bigger something uglier than anything you can imagine.

All we need to do is just be a little considerate. Just try to think what will you feel when you're in a hurry to the hospital because your wife is in labor, and some idiot double park his car and your car got boxed in, and that idiot is no where nearby to be seen. How do you think will you feel?

Yea, maybe you'll just miss seeing your son go into this ugly little world. Nothing much you'll miss there. But what about your son got hit by a car and the same thing happen, and you're just 5 minutes late from seeing your son alive for the one last time. Now how would that feels like?

You are not the only person living in this world and definitely not the center of the universe. Everyone has a significant part in this world, and if you think other people can wait 5 minutes while you go get a pack of cigarette cause no harm, please think again.

If you can't think straight because you're an idiot, then remember this, What goes around, comes around. It's all about karma. If you do not wish something bad to happen to you, please to do not do onto others bad things. Well, karma is not that easy to define but yeah, that's the dummy version of it to be quick on the definition.

If you do not wish other people to treat you like trash, stop treating others like one. Be considerate.

ChiM

How Much Have I Changed?

2008-04-16T01:03:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i feel like i've changed a lot from the person i remember i was. Then again, sometimes i see myself in the mirror and i see the same old me a few years back.

Sometimes i thought i've grown up a lot to have more patience in everything i do, and the people around me. Then again, i see myself losing my temper on someone i care so much in my life.

Sometimes i thought those people around me are naive and childish, that all they think about is their relationship problems and those small little things that don't even count as problems. Then again, i'm reflect on myself and i don't find myself being anymore mature and rational.

As far as i know, i'm not the same person i know i am a few years back, but then again, how different am i now?

People always say, it's good to change for the better, but how do i know if i've changed to be better?

I guess now is one of those occasional times when i feel emo and starts thinking about unnecessary things that don't bother me too much when i'm normal. I do feel emo from time to time, i can't stay hyper forever you know?

I really think it's about time for me to grow up.

ChiM

Happy Birthdayday ml

2008-04-06T22:00:00.001+08:00

// This is not a prank. Just a simple birthday wish to a good friend of mine

Dear Ms. ml,

I know that posting your full name online is a bad thing to do, that is why i did not do it. So please be glad i did not advertise you for free here.

Now now, since you've requested to have a card, and since saving the trees is the IN thing now. Let's just dedicate this blog entry to you.

First thing's first. I'm sorry for not calling you on your actual birthday. Not to say i forgot, but more like i was rather occupied, hence it didn't occur to me when the date was. Although i know explaining myself wouldn't make much difference now. You'll still be pissed and remember this until next year and then you'll remind me i forgot about it last year. So yea, i'm sorry for didn't remember to call you on the actual day.

After the explaining-myself-so-i-won't-feel-so-guilty part, i should formally give you the birthday wish. You know how bad i am with words sometimes. You know how my tongue will get twisted everytime i try telling something flattery in a very honest way. You would also know how sarcastic and impatient i can be at times, so harsh words will come pouring out my mouth. But despite all that, i really do appreciate having you as a friend, and i've always loved you and cared for you, though not in the intimate guys-on-girls type. So i guess i'll just make it simple and hoped that you'll feel what i want to tell you.

Happy Birthday May Lynn.

Now after all the hustle about me forgetting and someone else who forgot about it last year can actually remember the date and call on time this year, i think i should sing you a birthday song. Although i do not have a voice like Josh Groban, or the looks like Shane Wards, or the talents like Wang LeeHom, i really hope you will bear with my duckish-like voice and enjoy my birthday message to you.

But before that, i will have to dig out my webcam, and my microphone first. i can't remember where i've placed them. Well. when i do find them i'll just record myself and upload the file to YouTube, and broadcast to the world.

Hey, maybe i'll be like Marie Digby with the Umbrella song.

ChiM

Make the Best Out of It

2008-03-31T22:54:00.000+08:00

Rather obvious my few previous posts were quite low on morale & enthusiasm. Not talking about my writing style but more towards the things i talked about.

It's always discouraging when you're out there working for someone. You're constantly hogged by your boss to do things that you feel is ridiculous, things that are always urgent but is in fact not really that important at all.

I learned that in real life, work is really like bed of roses, in a bad way. It looks good, smells good but when you're actually lying on it, you'll get hurt by the thorns.

I'm pretty sure each and everyone of us out there knows how important it is to stay motivated, stay creative, keep the hard work, be the best you can ever be. I'm pretty sure everyone knows that, but we often forgot how to do it. We're easily discouraged by hurdles, the flame of enthusiasm got wiped out with a splash of cold water.

When that happens, probably you'll ask yourself "What am i doing here?". You might think you don't suit the job, or you might think the company sucks big time. You might also think that your boss is stupid.

Well, at least i have quite a number of negative thoughts myself to begin with. But of course, when you're calm down and think back, those thoughts doesn't actually help the situation at all.

Lately, two elders spoke of the same thing that occurs to me, how negative i was just not too long ago. Both of them is from a whole different background, they do not know each other, they are from different place. The only similarity they have are they are from the same era, and they give the same kind of advice.

Maybe you might think that these advice is outdated already since it's near to years ago, but then haven't you noticed, stuffs produced way back then was more long lasting than those that you can buy from now?

Let's just keep it simple. I think you'd agree that way back to 20, 30 years ago, there weren't too many opportunities around. There wasn't as much choices around like how it is now. Even food nowadays are abundant i don't know what to eat because i can't make up my mind what to eat sometimes.

But i believe way back then, choices is really a luxury. You can ask you dad about this, "Why you choose to do what you're doing how?" and i believe 80% chance that your dad would say "We don't have much choice when we were young......" and so on.

Most of our parents work hard to have what they have today, and we as the children are enjoying these luxuries without understand how hard it was for them to achieve all these. We have all the choices we can have. We can choose where to study, where to work, how much to spend everyday, what to eat for lunch.

What makes a person successful is not only making the correct decision, but also by making the best out of what you can do now.

Stop complaining, stop whining, and start making what you can do now as an opportunity to turn things around to make yourself more successful.

And being successful does not mean you have all the money you can spend. For me it would be to be able to have enough of everything. Enough money to spend, to feed & to nurture the future generation, enough time for me to spend with my love ones and my friends, enough motivation to move forward everytime i meet a hurdle. Not too much not too little.

Rat-Race

2008-03-16T17:49:00.000+08:00

It's the year of the rat this year as most of the people out there may have already known. It's rather ironic being in a rat year, and being stucked in a rat race at the same time. I have the whole year to feel sucky about this.

Well, perhaps not. I'm not that pessimistic guy my friends have known me of. I'm not too sure what my friends may think of me but then i'm pretty sure it's nothing near pessimistic.

Anyway, just rather disgruntled with what i'm earning in my life. It's rather sucky you know watching people out there enjoying all the luxuries in life, spending money like their dad owns the bank.

You see, being an engineer, a good engineer, you need to be passionate about it. You need to love your job, love being an engineer. You need to understand the structures, the algorithm, how it works and why it doesn't at time. And being an engineer myself, i'm pretty sure i'm not a good engineer.

It sucks you know, holding on to the belief that once you got an engineering degree, being one is just going to be easy. Guess what, that is such a big misconception. I'm just disappointed with my own decision to finish my degree in this field, and now all i'm doing is getting paid peanuts in a job i don't enjoy doing.

If you're already out there working, you may understand this. You work hard, day and night, but your boss don't think you cut out. Your boss don't think you're good enough, that you're not putting in enough effort into your work to make things work.

And then you stayed back at work, trying to finish up the stuffs he gave to you at 6pm, right at the time when you think it's about time to go home. And yous watch your boss leave the office in a hurry back to home to have a nice warm meal with his family while you stay back to finish the job he gave you. Simply because he needs it on his desk first thing tomorrow morning.

At the end of the year, at performance evaluation time, you were hoping you'd score some points with your hard work and diligence you offer to the company and in return hoping for a promotion or a better increment in salary. And then your boss calls you into his room, ask you to close the door, handed you an envelope. Then there it is, he told you the company is not doing too well, and he think the company is giving you how much you're worth.

Imagine peanuts. You're worth peanuts. Does that feel good? Peanuts.

Well, for my part of the story, it didn't went as bad. I mean i was expecting something really good from the company, from my boss. Although it was a total disappointment what the company had to offer, my boss was rather helpful, trying to get me a better offer.

Well, it's still peanuts after the negotiation, but anyway, i did feel better after his effort. It's the thought that counts.

But anyhow, with what i'm earning, there's no way i could live the luxury life i want to live in. So what are you doing in your life to make other ends meet?

If you're the first born guy child in the family, the pressure is there. You're getting older, you're single, drive a beat-up second hand local made car, stays with your parents still, doesn't have much savings and you still owe the government that study loan you took up.

The pressure is about getting married, starting a family. You may not know, doing that is not cheap this day. You need to have your own house before that, a stable monthly income that could feed yourself, your spouse, your parents, and when that cute little baby is born, you need to buy milk powder, diapers. Before you know it, they're asking money from you to go college.

See, all this needs money and getting paid peanuts is not helping. So, please tell me my friends. How are you making your ends meet on this?

ChiM

Long Time No See

2008-03-05T23:44:00.002+08:00

It's definitely been a long long while since i log into bloggers. i almost forgot i have an account to blog. For that, i have to apologize for being forgetful & too busy.

Work is always busy, that's a norm. If you're at my age and your work is not taking up all your day time, then there's something wrong with your job. Well, this hold true if your dad is not f**king rich, or you don't need to work but there's someone feeding you or you're too f**king smart you invest your money & let your money find more money for you.

If all those are not you, but still you're too free, then it's time for you to think about your future. Do you want to stay so free when you're this young?

Apart from busy with work, i'm also addicted to facebook. If you're my friend, you can find my email address from friendster and add me in facebook. You're more than welcome with both hands stretch wide open to receive you with warmth & care.

I got a text from Mz A today, asking me how come i never call her back during CNY. Well, i'm very sorry i forgot about that too. Well, these days i blame it on my memory when i fail to do any stuffs.

Mini Balls & Baby's Shoes - Part 2

2007-12-24T02:34:00.000+08:00

Cindy loved the festival time. She love decorating the Christmas tree. I used to enjoy it too. I guess i only did because she did. Since she's gone, Christmas had no meaning whatsoever anymore.

The street was filled with people, with the santa's hat and other party packs. It's Christmas eve today. Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves. Not me. I'm still thinking about the wordings on the mirror.

There were some kids caroling at the side of the curb.

'Tis the season to be jolly, falalalala lala la la.....'

There were some generous people handling out candy canes too. Then i heard a familiar voice calling me.

"Lance, thank God i've found you!"

It was Sarah's. Panting after running around looking for me i guess. I looked at her blankly and took a sip of my whisky.

It's been a month since that case. No new evidence, no suspects, no eye-witnesses, no nothing. There was nothing much we could do. There's just no lead to the case.

"Look, i know you're still cracking your head over the case, but it's been a month and you've been working around the clock. You need a rest."

She's right. i've been working day and night trying to find answers to all the questions. My name was in the crime scene. Although there's a few hundreds Lance in town but i had a feeling it's me.

"....and you're suppose to have dinner with me remember?"

Sarah's voice slap me back into reality. I promised her the other day about this. That Sarah would prepare dinner and i would be going over to her place. Sarah is my partner, my friend, the only person around i can trust and spend time now. There's no one. Not anymore. Not after Cindy's gone.

I gave Sarah a faint smile. She know i forgot. There was no point trying to explain. I know she'll forgive me anyway. I walk towards her, and grab her arm gently to place it to mine and led her back to her apartment.

I didn't look at her face but i know she smiled. Sarah is all i have now.

Sarah joined the force a year ago. She was assigned to me as my partner. If it's not because of her covering my ass since, i would've been kicked off the team on disciplinary reason. I've been drinking on duty and everyone knows about it. It's lucky i didn't screw up yet.

Sarah is the most enthusiastic young policewoman i've ever worked with. Not to say i've worked with many but it's my honor to have her as a partner. She's brave, she's hardworking, she has integrity. And a drunkard like me just provided her with answers and details on cases.

I have this ability to recognize evidence once i walked into a crime scene. i can analyze and realized what actually happened. It started off after i turn alcoholic. There was once i walked into a crime scene, i look at random items in the crime scene, and i started having vision of what might have happened. From there i would look for the evidence, and finally solve the case. Not everytime this can happen though. At least not this time.

"So would you like to have wine with your turkey or your usual whisky instead?"

And Sarah is a tremendous cook. Her cooking never failed. She's been feeding me a lot since i've only feed on fast chow-mee and pizza to survive when she's not around. My life now wouldn't be a life without Sarah. It wouldn't be like this if that didn't happen.

"Lance, loosen up. It's Christmas eve. You're suppose to relax over the holiday."

If i could, i would. "Hello Lance. Love Cindy".

Is it a prank? It's a sick idea of being funny, because it's not. I can't link any of the evidence in the crime scene with each other. They are just too random, as though irrelevant to the case. And yet all the evidence point to the death of Tim.

I call him by his name again. I used to refer to him as the son of a bitch who cheated on me with my wife. That son of a bitch. But i've been calling him by his name numerous times now. Am i sympathizing him? Have i forgave him? Is it my conscience talking?

Sarah's cellphone rang. She looked troubled after answering the call. This could only mean bad news.

"There's another murder. Same style as the previous case."

I was waiting for Sarah to tell me more. I was hoping she would tell me they found the same wordings on the mirror. I was hoping not. I don't know what i want to hear anymore.

"I think we should go together. You should have a look."

And i knew what to expect after that.

**To be continued**

Mini Balls & Baby's Shoes

2007-11-22T22:25:00.000+08:00

i walked in through the door. the place was swarmed with armed police officers. i took out my badge and walk past each one of them. they were looking at me. i didn't look back but i can feel them glaring their dreamy eyes at me.

i walk into the crime scene. the forensic guys were just finishing their jobs. one of them is still snapping pictures around the house, trying to search for what might be evidence to what might have happened here.

then there she was, Sarah, walking towards me. she doesn't look too pleased but she's the most beautiful thing ever walk on this land.

"You're late again!", she blasted. "Have you been drinking again?"

It started off with just a glass, my addiction that is. I was alcohol intolerant just 2 years back, and now everyone knows i can't live without it. it all started after that incident. it was too painful to stay awake. it's too painful to be sober all the time.

i took out my rum container and took another sip. looking back at Sarah, i gave her a small smile of satisfaction. i know she care about me.

"You know that's going to kill you someday if you keep drinking like that!"

and i took on another sip. she looked really pissed with me. she turned around and walk into the other area of the apartment. the dining hall. that's where it all happened.

there was blood almost everywhere. the knife used to kill the victim, they found it stabbed into the left eye socket. he was found with multiple wounds on his naked body. he was tied on both his hands and feet at the wrist and ankle. the victim is a 45 years old high school teacher. the victim is someone i know. the victim is Tim. Or what used to be Tim.

Tim was the reason Cindy died 2 years back. She was cheating on me with him. i was too caught up with my detective job, chasing the guilty helping the innocent. i was trying to be as just as possible. that was the reason i joined the force in the first place. that was the reason my relationship with Cindy turned to the wrong way. Cindy was my wife.

Tim was teaching in the same school Cindy did. he was always trying to help. he looked very sincere all the time. when Cindy needed me and i wasn't there for her, she turned to Tim instead. i trusted him because he's the most decent guy i've ever known despite only knowing him for a few months.

i was on my way home from work as usual, just that one day earlier than when i was suppose to be back. i bought Cindy some lily. she loved lily very much. i bought her black chocolate. she loved those. i was planning to give her a surprise. i was feeling guilty for not being around for her . i was trying to make it up for her.

and i caught them fucking on my bed.

i stoned. i turned away and walked out the house. i went back to the station to work. one day later, i went back home. i was telling myself what i saw one day back didn't happen. i told myself to forget what i saw.

i walk into my house, called for Cindy but no reply. i went upstairs to our bedroom. and i found her there. tied to the bed. her mouth gagged. she was naked. she was dead. she was strangled.

and that killed me two years back. i started my own investigation into the matter after the guys didn't manage to find anything suspicious. they conclude it as break-in robbery and rape-cum-murder case. they rule out any foul play involved.

but i know Tim have got something to do with this. deep down inside i'm sure Tim knows something. but he denied everything. and there wasn't enough evidence to even suspect him. all except for what i saw. i soon reached a dead end.

today, with me standing over his dead body, i felt almost nothing. i hated this man for taking away my Cindy. i hated this man for what happened to Cindy. but all i feel now is......i don't feel anything at all.

"Looks like the killer torture this guy a lot before actually killing him.", Sarah pointed to his fingers, toes, ears, his chest and his crotch.

both his ears were missing. his finger and toe nails were all removed. and his testicles was the only thing hanging from his crotch. his chest suffers multiple stab wound. not deep enough to reach his heart, but definitely deep enough to cause him tremendous amount of pain.

one weird thing was, he was shaved clean. eye brows. hair. arm-pit. pubic area.

"Lance, look."

Sarah was standing outside the bathroom. she was pointing to the mirror inside. looks like the killer left us some clue.

it was written: Hello Lance. Love, Cindy.

**To be continue**

ChiM

Hormone Imbalance?

2007-11-13T00:50:00.000+08:00

If hormones are to blame when you have emotional distress, then i'm having some hormone imbalance issue right now.

i was alright a moment before, and there it was. The wave of low self esteem came rushing to me again. i hate it when this happens. i can't think straight. i can't decide right. i think of all sorts of nonsense. question everything that i've decided. question myself.

in short, self-doubt and doubting others.

And i can't sleep.

Who should i blame to feel like this? i know i can't talk to anyone at this time, because i know i'll just reject whatever suggestions that anyone might give. i'll even question how are they to tell me how should i feel.

i'm just not me when i'm hit with the wave, and i hate it.

fuck it. can't the damn feeling just fucking leave me alone!

i yawn and my head hurts. And i can't sleep.

i'm sorry. This is rude. You're not suppose to read this but it's my blog and i can post whatever i want to. Isn't it? Just don mind me. I'm sorry.

And so, after giving all out. It seems like it's still not enough. And so the problem is actually with me. I'm just like another selfish jerk-off ass-hole after all.

Head hurts.

I really don't know what should i feel just now. Should i be disappointed? Should i be angry?

i don't blame you. i blame that son of a bitch though. And i say this when i'm rational too, though it still don't dictate that i have the right to insult someone like that. i just hope he will get what he deserved. Someone ass-rape him maybe. Just joking. Not funny.

i'll go pretend to sleep. Maybe it'll pass. I'll be like how i am every other day when i wake up in the morning. But how do i actually wake up when i'm only pretending to sleep?

ChiM

Cough Cough Cough

2007-11-03T01:00:00.000+08:00

*Ahem* *Ahem*

Need to clear my throat before start talking. I'm coughing my lungs out again. This had been happening quite a lot recently, these few months. i wonder if it's because i do not get enough rest or is it because the air is bad or is it simply because i didn't drink enough water.

Too many reasons why i could be sick, but anyway, the bottom-line is i'm coughing my lungs out, metaphorically speaking.

Hope i get well soon. It's rather irritating to cough before speaking every sentence. And i'm sick over the weekends. How fun is that?

Well, i just got back from a trip to Penang, no not on interview rally. Just simply a relaxing trip to the island just to walk around for food & stuffs.

And been sick ever since.

No pictures to upload though. Didn't really snap much cause we're too busy eating, and walking around.

And i got nothing to complain about so far.

Hope i get well soon and hope the sick bug can't find you.

ChiM

For You Ladies Out There

2007-10-16T00:32:00.000+08:00

I've always thought that girls are the superior breed of homosapiens than us guys. I've always thought that guys are just jerks who don't know how to treat their ladies right.

And then i was right and then i was wrong too.

i'll try to make this short, rather sleepy at this hour and ~~tomorrow~~ in a few hours more, i still need to go work. Yea, i do go work for a living, unlike those 'bloggers' who just sit home and writes and still get paid for.

This is a simple reminder to those ladies out there, specially dedicated to you all.

Don't be stupid when:

....your guy cheats on you. Leave him for someone else. If he do it once, he's going to do it again. Try not to give him a second chance to hurt you the second time with the same reason. But remember to delete those ~~naked~~ intimate pictures of yours before throwing in the towel. Guys can be really childish with this kind of stuffs. Remember Paris Hilton?

....he hits you. If he did it once, perhaps you can consider to forgive him, but if he did it constantly, please dump him. If he hits you after drinking, leave at once. There are help groups out there for females who are abused.

....you're the third party, be it him married, or knowing he is in a relationship with someone else. If he already have someone else, and still out there hunting, you can guess what kind of person he is right? I'm sure he'll tell you he's not happy with his current someone, and that you're special, but he can't leave her because he sympathizes her. It's all bullshit. Don't be the reason a relationship is broken. More importantly, don't indulge in those sick fantasies guys have of sleeping with a few people at the same time.

....he takes money from you to gamble, to buy alcohol. If he can't earn his hobby, he isn't much a man. Think of why do you love him in the first place, and if he still live up your expectation. Do not just linger around in the relationship just because you've already gotten used to it.

....you're not too conscious to make a decision. If you can't make a decision now, delay them. Everything can wait. You're not going to miss anything if you don't have it. Sometimes judgments can be blurry when our minds are pressured to make decisions. Just try not to make hasty ones and hurt the people who love you and care about you.

....you know he's just out to play. Why would you indulge guys with their fantasies of sleeping with every girl they can pick up? They won't even remember your name after they are done jumping into your pants!! Like i always say, practice chasity, not charity!

I know it's a modern world out there, and because of this simple reason, a lot of people tend to leave their morale at home. Flip open your newspaper today, and i bet you there will be at least a case of rape-cum-murder happening anywhere in the world. Like always, ladies sure need to protect themselves even more from the dangers they face now, compared to before.

ChiM

It's been a while~!!

2007-10-12T00:33:00.001+08:00

i woke up in the morning, still feeling drowsy from the cough syrup i took last night. i feel the world is spinning below my feet, just right there underneath my toes.

i was suppose to take only 2 teaspoon, but i ended up taking 2 tablespoon instead. Just a slight overdose of cough mixture. That won't kill me. Nothing near that.

I've been having this sore-throat thing since monday morning. i couldn't remember what i ate which makes me like this. i guess it's just time for me to fall sick again. i was hoping i could get sick enough to take a leave from work but apparently i'm not that unfortunate.

i've always had waves of low self-esteem period from time to time. Not everyone knows about it. Not even close friends. Just close friends who really understands me will really notice, which is in fact not many. Lately, i'm having it again. i don't know what is the reason for it. Perhaps my hormone level isn't normal?

Or maybe you'd even guess it when i blog. i only writes when stuffs bother my mind. Don't ask me what happened, it's just one of those days when you're just not standing at the top of the world.

I think i've grown matured a little, not too much but a little. There are massive changes which i can feel within me. i'm trying to stay the same as how i've always been. it's comfortable being how i am all this while. it took me quite some lessons to appreciate me being myself.

I'm not saying i'm not happy lately. In fact, for the past 4 months, it's the best memories i can look back 10 years from now, and smile to myself knowing i did not waste my life being sad or feeling angry or quarreling or even simply not having fun.

It's a whole new experience i'm experiencing now. And it's always a very happy thing if you could find someone you can talk your heart with, who's willing to listen to your whining and nagging, who appreciates you so much for you being yourself.

Tonight is one of those nights when i feel very emotional. Mixture of happy thoughts and regrets sort of overwhelmed me.

Nothing can be done to undo wrongs that had been made. Take it as a life experience and learn from it.

Nothing can be done to un-say hurtful words that had been said. Those words should be replaced with kindness and care instead.

What can be done is what lies ahead when we wake up every morning. No one can ever help us if we ourselves don't wish to help ourselves.

What can be fun to do today, you might regret doing it tomorrow. So why do it?

What you dare not do today, you might regret not doing it yesterday. So why hold back?

We are not saint, we all make mistakes. We know it's wrong sometimes but we still do it. We have lots of reason to do it but in the end if anyone gets hurt, it's wrong.

ChiM

Post Merdeka Day Post

2007-09-01T14:30:00.000+08:00

...or whatever they call it.

i had a thought the other day. i was out with my colleagues for dinner and a drink at some local restaurants. We actually plan to have a dinner and a drinking session like this one for quite some time but things just doesn't turn out well.

So, this time in conjunction of our Merdeka Day celebration, we are having a 4-days week of working days. Since we're having a longer weekend than usual, we thought of hanging out with the guys and weekends are still reserved for the family & girlfriends (or boyfriends).

We were having dinner at this local restaurant here, famous for their snow beer. In case you don't know what is that, please do go find out and try it out. It's pretty nice.

Second session was with a bunch of my Filipinos colleagues. Since they are temporarily staying out of a hotel for the moment, we thought of going to somewhere nearer to their hotel for a second round.

It was rather late at that time, almost 11pm. Not long after we gathered and drinks came, it was almost midnight. They were showing on TV speeches, which was supposed to be inspiring, and make us feel proud of our National Independence Day.

But what was shown on TV was just people waving their flags, half heartedly and as sleepy as ever, while singing patriotic theme songs. It wasn't something i would say that i'm proud of.

Then it was the countdown. They were lowering the union jack flag and was singing God Save the Queen. Then our flag is pulled up. It's time to sing the national anthem.

Negara-ku.

We were thinking whether we should raise to our feet and show that we Malaysians do love our country. They have already begun playing the national anthem. We stood up halfway, look around. Everyone was just ignoring what was playing on the TV. i don't blame the foreigners, but locals?

It was embarrassing. Because no one around bother to stand to respect our national anthem. And when we do, we look like a bunch of morons doing rather stupid stuff in public.

Is there a problem with how we express the way we love our contry? Or are we enjoying the "true" meaning of Merdeka by being free as ever and never give a fuck on giving respect? Perhaps it's just our country is not deserved your respect at all?

ChiM

Contentment?

2007-08-27T01:00:00.000+08:00

It's true sometimes we can't get everything we wanted in life. I'm pretty sure if you're already working now, making a shopping trip to Japan every year is probably out of the question now. When we grow older, we see more of the ugly truth about the world. The world where it's shaped by hypocrites who take money from the poor and use for themselves.

We'll talk about society problem next time.

Are you contented with what you have now? I know of someone, a friend of mine to be exact. Let's call him Joe. Not his real name of course but for the sake of being easy to refer to Joe than to refer to my friend, let's just stick to a fake name instead.

See life is not always a bed of roses. We don't always get what we want or how we want. Some people force their way up and become successful. Some force their way up but end up falling all the way to the bottom.

Then there are people who wish to play it safe & stay where they are. Sooner or later, the will to climb higher just get flatter and flatter in taste. Not too long after, all your dreams taste like a plain glass of water.

Joe used to have big dreams. Big house, sports car, model girlfriend, gourmet food everyday. Upon stepping food into the society, big house is the first thing to go out of the question. How to afford a house when you're a freshy working in Penang getting paid by peanuts.

Plus having a sports car don't really help in getting the house. Not exactly a sports car but a brand new car with many of years of loan to pay ahead.

When you don't have the first two, a model girlfriend is totally out of the question.

When most of your pay goes into your car, you'll be feeding your car with gourmet food rather than yourself.

See, this is the reality. And usually it's really disappointing that way. Huge dreams shrinks nano size. Who wouldn't be disappointed?

So mostly people just settle down after that, and be contented with what they have. It's good to have enough to spend and a little more to save on top of that. We'll just live a mediocre lifestyle and that's good enough.

Contentment is a good thing but that doesn't mean you can settle down with things you have now. Being too comfortable with what you have in your hand is sometimes dangerous. Remember the story about the frog who didn't jump out the pot of slowly boiling water? It got soup-ed.

Contentment is one thing, striving harder to achieve more in life is something else. Saying that you're contented means you are happy with what you have but going out to improve yourself and get better things in life. Being contented doesn't mean yo have to sleep with shit and still be thankful you have a roof over your head.

Strive harder for a better lifestyle. Do not give yourself excuse not to, especially not on being contented with what you have.

ChiM

eMo

2007-08-18T20:50:00.000+08:00

Have you had that sense of uneasiness lingers inside your heart all day long but everything seems to be fine? It's not about relationship problem or financial or stuffs like this, but more like a strong feeling of something bad might happen.

Call me superstitious but ever since the 7th month of the lunar calender started off, i've been haunted with this sense every now and then. The freak accident on the first day itself didn't really help in making me not believe in my gut.

If you are reading this regardless of whether you are my friend or not, please be careful while you driving, or when you're going out alone, or when you're on your way home. Please be careful.

I sure do hope when i turn on the tv and the only news they're reporting would be good news, and not accidents involving deaths of 21 people, or shit like that.

I just hope what i'm feeling is just pure de'javu and nothing will come true. If i got such a hunch about things that's going to happen, let's just give me the ability to know what is the empat ekor coming out tomorrow.

Take care.

ChiM

Do It Anyway

2007-08-07T22:27:00.000+08:00

i got a forwarded email from a friend some time ago, but recently when i was browsing through my old emails i found this again. That time i was rather pissed with my boss of his ridiculous way of handling matters, and the content of that email sort of brightens up my day then.

It kind of put a smile on my face. It's usually related to Mother Theresa, and i feel it's really meaningful. So here i am sharing this, trying to put a smile on your face.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

People are often unreasonable,
illogical and self-centered;
forgive them anyway

If you are kind,
people may accuse you of selfish,
ulterior motives;
be kind anyway

If you are successful,
you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
succeed anyway

If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you;
be frank and honest anyway

What you spend years building,
someone may destroy overnight;
build anyway

If you find serenity and happiness,
others may be jealous;
be happy anyway

The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
do good anyway

Give the world the best you have
and it may never be enough;
give the world the best you've got anyway

You see, in the final analysis,
it is all between you and God;
it was never between you and them anyway

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

ChiM

Bored on a Saturday Afternoon

2007-07-28T14:15:00.000+08:00

It's a Saturday afternoon, and i'm sitting in front of my pc at home.

Guess what, and i'm glad and i kind of enjoy it. It's been a very tiring week for me. As a matter of fact, i've been rather tired for some weeks now.

Of course it's from work. What else were you thinking? But of course, there are other reasons for being so tired but im not telling what. So i'll give you guys a chance to let your imagination run wild.

I deserve some proper rest of lazing around at home, chatting with some friends on some hot news from me lately, writing my blog, watching transformer on pirated DVD for the nth times.

What a life......?

I know my friends care about me when they purposely call me up to ask me about my life now, my status now. And i could not ask for more from a friend than this. And today, this very afternoon right before i'm writing this, i got 2 of my friends contacted me.

Well, actually they are just very busy body want to ask about someone only but still i'm very glad they asked. It's always happy to know your friends whom you care about do care for you in return. And what more can you ask from a friend than this?

So i'm going to sign off now being very happy with myself having people around me that actually appreciate me. Do you know the feeling of being appreciated? i've only know it lately.....

Quote MsSourGrape, "I've been kind of naughty lately!"

ChiM

Untitled

2007-07-21T12:29:00.000+08:00

Nothing much about myself lately. It's only been work & life the whole of this month.

Something new about me? Yes and No.

Yes for moving onto another phase in my life. I'm an adult now, full of responsibilities and thoughts on how to improve my career and financial status.

No for i'm still the same old me.

Drop me a message from time to time. i check my friendster account daily.

ChiM

Well.....

2007-07-15T01:37:00.000+08:00

Apparently, someone's been reading my blog. Good news and bad news.

The good news is of course someone out there actually cares of what's happening to an old friend here in Ipoh. It's always good when some Uni friends thought of you out of the blue and decided to check on you. I'm more of the type to take initiatives to make things happen sometimes when i think it's worth to keep in touch. Although sometimes i don't. So i usually ring my friends up, or leave them a message in friendster if i can't see them on MSN.

The bad news is, i can't simple write stuffs that i feel. Most of the time, i have mixed emotions and always have the urge to spit it all out. And this usually gets me into trouble. I would appreciate if you don't ask what kind of trouble i got myself into. Sometimes they are huge but sometimes it's just a slap to my head. But still don't ask.

I've always thought, no news is good news. I've always been someone low profiled, though for the recent few years i've been loud and famous for being really chirpy & happy all the time.

Hey, i'm just being optimistic about things that's happening to myself. No point sulk over things you can't change, right?

It's always been this way for me; it's either to deal with it happily, with an open mind, or just don't deal with it. And i've never been someone who runs away from responsibility. This kind of explains how i'm constantly laughing away.

And no, i'm not crazy and i was not discharged from Hospital Bahagia before i go MMU.

Feel so grown up, heavy loads of responsibilities to take care of, heavy loads of considerations to think about, heavy loads of debts to clear off.

Still trapped in the rat race at the age of 24.

I wish an invisible guiding hand can reach out to me and support me in all ways i needed.

ChiM

What if......?

2007-07-07T18:42:00.000+08:00

I thought i didn't want to blog anymore. I thought i could just let it go. Maybe i can't write as often as before anymore but i still like blogging. Especially when i know no one is reading my blog. Then i can write anything i'm feeling without worrying i might hurt anyone.

I can't remember how i started off. I think i was bored, and i was being really emo that time. Wanted someone to talked to but then again no one was there.

Not really no one was there, but just the person i wanted to share thoughts with wasn't there at that time.....

.....i think.

Well, i was having a lot of thoughts lately. i know myself as being one of the open minded ones among a lot of my friends. i know for sure about that.

Then again, lately this thoughts have been challenged by a number of facts that i thought would never happen to me.

Not going to tell what though. Hehe....

But then, these events made me question myself a lot lately on how open minded i can be?

A lot of thinking about my personal past recently. One thing for sure, i am how i am today because of how i was yesterday, and the decission i made today will change how i will be tomorrow.

i think i'm speaking gibberish again.

i'm glad there was a lot of sweet & sour moments when i looked back. In fact, there were bitter & spicy as well. Let's just put it that life is like a kitchen. You can either make good food from there, or you can just cook instant noodle.

Yea, i know. Bad example.

Haha.....

At least i'm happy now.

ChiM

Hurt

2007-07-01T17:18:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry i hurt you again and again.

i've got a new life now.
A new relationship with someone.

It's really happy to be me now.
I'm finally myself again.
Appreciated for being who i am.

The happier i am, the more guilt accumulate inside my heart.
Guilt for hurting you so much.

Wish you could hate me for what i did.
That would make me feel better.

i'm sorry i hurt you over & over again.
i'm sorry.

wz

No More?

2007-05-20T00:51:00.000+08:00

i think i'm going to stop blogging. I've got nothing interesting to tell about myself anymore, and i think everytime when i say something here, it gets me back in reality.

So i think it's either i'm not going to blog about my life anymore, i'm not going to blog anymore.

Still thinking. Going Singapore tomorrow.

I mean today later in the day.

uFLEX training. Can you believe it?

In case you don't know what's a uFLEX, you don't need to know anyway. So just drop that.

Just hope i got enough money to spend there. Wish i can hold my hands to myself & not shop till my wallet drops.

Anyway, until next time when i really got something to complain about i might just writes again.

Or might not.

Good bye.

ChiM

Happy Mother's Day

2007-05-13T13:50:00.000+08:00

chim-chimz wrote THIS in Mother's Day 2006.

Difference this year is i'm in Ipoh instead of in Cyberjaya.

Other than that, everything seems the same. We didn't really celebrate this occasion, no special gifts or plans of such, no special treatment to Mom, almost nothing different from every other day at home, i guess.

That sounds to heartless, i know.

Ok, we live in a house where love is expressed so regularly that we don't really need a special day in the year where everything is more expensive, restaurants are most crowded, roads are most jammed with cars filled with everyone in the family, and isn't it shallow to show your mom you love them only once a year?

I'm not saying my style is the best style, nor am i saying that yours sucks. I'm just saying that as long as you let your mom knows you love her, it doesn't matter when you do it or how you do it, as long as it is legal of course.

Again, it's been 2 cycles in the chinese zodiac for my sign. i'm sorry mom if i made you worry about me, screw ups or said something that hurt you.

And i'm sorry you still haven't got any grandchildren as contributed by me, although i'm relieved you don't at this moment.

i'm sorry for not coming for dinner in time, and you have to leave my food in the heater.

i'm sorry for coming home late sometimes and you're still waiting for me by the door, although i know the tv shows are interesting at that time but i choose to see it that you're waiting for me.

So many apologies, gratitude is a must as well. So, thanks mom for giving me so much freedom to do what i want to do.

Thanks for heating up food for me when i'm hungry from work.

Thanks for not match-making me with your friend's daughter.

And thanks for watching that exciting tv show while waiting for me when i come home late.

Haha. Happy Mother's Day 2007.

ChiM (-@-)

A Little of Something Something

2007-05-12T00:47:00.001+08:00

Tired tired tired.

From work mostly. Of work mostly. And with work mostly. All at the same time.

i just wish my working hour will allow me to go home on time, with ample work load & learning opportunities, and on top of that, a good pay. But i can live without the latter for the moment.

But still you need to pay me.

Like now, my legs hurt like hell. i can't really feel my legs actually. When i look down towards my bare feet, it looks to me as though my legs are boneless. Lying there lifeless. Just like that.

This is how tired i am now.

But i'm not complaining anything. i enjoy the experience i'm going through now, and i like this.

I can't say i love my company, or my boss, or my job. i just enjoy working in this challenging environment with lots and lots of learning opportunities.

Why?

i don't know about others but for me, when there's something i need to run in the production line, i'm the person who needs to do everything, including setting up the tester & the handler.

When i say setup, i do mean pulling the testers & the handlers from north to south, power them up, perform calibration after that, tune alignment of the testers if contact problem.

This is the task scope of a line technician. We basically have to beg them to do this for us. If knees are to heavy to kneel, you do your own setting up. So there you will see me pulling and pushing testers and handlers from one end of the production line to the other all the time.

My point is, when you need to get your hands dirty, you will know how things are done. Knowledge & experience makes people valuable in the market. With merely a year of experience, i feel very much enriched when i first graduated.

Which is good news i feel.

Feel grown up. Feel i'm actually using my brain in the right way, not memorizing derivations because it's coming out in the final exam.

But still, company system sucks. Managers consists of brainless bodies and loudspeakers. Employee's morale are lower than rupiah's exchange rate compared to USD. And the sales, well sales i'm not so sure but i heard ain't earning much.

Not sure if i'm getting any pay increment this year end. Definitely no promotion for me though.

So, weekend is here, and i'm not stucked at home tomorrow. Cheerz~~!

ChiM

What is Life?

2007-05-05T18:10:00.000+08:00

Yet another question.

Been full of question marks in my thoughts lately. Some with full proof solutions, some with analytical answers, some still remains a puzzle.

Didn't want to complain so much though. i learned a new word from a new friend lately. Sour-grape. I wasn't very good with all these proverbs and similes and stuffs, so pardon me if my vocabulary is bad.

Anyway, in case you don't know what this silly word means, it means someone who likes to complain a lot in life.

Now, don't look at me like that. I'm the last person who can be labeled as a sour-grape.

I read Laney's post. It felt kind of sad really. She's in IT line. Sitting in front of the PC more than half the time of the day is he job. Same with me here too.

I have some friends who go home right on time. I don't want to use the word early because it would be inappropriate to say people leave early from work. That would mean that they are unethical enough to leave work before time. So, i have friends who leave work on time.

When people leave work on time, they have plenty of time to do what they want at night. Going for extra classes. Workouts at the local gym. Going for a drink. Watch a movie perhaps. Accompany loved ones.

So what happen to those who work outside their hometown? i bet there are a lot doing this right now. After work, it's dinner with colleagues maybe? Then Saturday hang out with housemates.

Worse case, what if your colleagues are too busy going out pak-toh after work? Or same case with your housemates during the weekend?

Then what do you want to do? Or should i say, what can you do in the weekends or after work?

I'm a little better off of course. I work in my hometown of Ipoh, staying with my parents so save a lot on rent, and food. But still, you have to know. Who works in Ipoh?

Most of my friends are in Penang or KL. So a lot of exciting activities which i used to do during study days are no more available now.

Definitely no housemates to hang out with. That's for sure.

Colleagues. Not too many young people from where i work. That's good news and bad news at the same time.

Good news is, we're all very close. Bonded really well with each other as there is no generation gap between us.

Bad news is, most of them are "attached" to a relationship. That makes them non-eligible to all the activities we're having. So afetr-work and weekends are off-limits.

Now, where do single and lonely soul like me go after work or during the weekends?

The answer is, birds of same feather flocks together. We find other single and lonely souls to mingle and multiply.

And if it's full moon, we'll re-group with the others couples for some activities together. Not for mating though.

Now, what is life again?How do you enjoy life?

i wish to go traveling every now and then but i have not enough annual leave, and not enough money, and definitely not enough friends that are free enough to go traveling with me.

i wish i could start another relationship with someone right this time, but then cupid is having some problems with his eyes in these few years. He keep aiming me with the wrong arrows.

i don't know. How do you enjoy life? Tell me.

ChiM

What's That Feeling Again?

2007-04-28T17:08:00.000+08:00

Friday night and as usual, it's going to be a lonely one.

Wait. No.

Not this week. It was one of the best Friday night i've ever had in weeks.

I was tired after the day. My eyes were half closed at 10pm. I was suppose to meet her at 1030pm. How am i going to get through the night without being a bore?

I was still tired when we meet. Then we went to a neat place to have a drink. We had wine.

Well, saying we had wine is a bit over rated. I had a bottle, barely. And she finished 3. This is really embarrassing. I was out-drank by a gal. Damn it.

But the night was nice, sweet.

As always, we chatted about everything. I'm glad i made her laughed. That's something i can do with people around me. That's just something i can do. Don't you think?

And the question come. What's that feeling again? i don't remember how it quite felt like, the feeling of liking someone. Guess i've been numb after all these years.

i'm moving on. i think.

Sure felt real, being so fond of someone, so connected. It just felt good.

Just need more time.

ChiM

Deranged?

2007-04-22T12:07:00.000+08:00

Like every other Sunday morning, it would be breakfast with my parents. We would drive around town looking for eating places, and then sit there for about an hour or so before finishing our meal & head on home.

Just like every other Sunday morning, today was nothing much special about breakfast.

As we were eating the food, talking & chatting, amidst the enjoyment, the corner of my eye caught a glimpse of a pitiful sight.

There was a man. He was dressed in a worn-out yellow collar shirt, slightly torn at the right shoulder. His shorts was black, not the original color i suspect but from the dirt that stained it. His sleepers were mixed, a side different than the other.

He was holding a few coins in his hands, asking the yau-cha-guai seller the price of each of the delicacies that he is selling. Although this man is a customer, the hawker did not treat the man as one. He was rather generous in his harsh & rudeness.

The man wasn't choosing which one was nicer. He was choosing which one he can afford.

I felt really bad at that time. I looked around, little kids having their moms to beg them to finish their food, adults with unfinished food left on the table. Everyone was enjoying the food, and no one seemed to notice this man.

I really felt bad. I was surmounted by the feeling of sympathy but at the same time, fear.

The first thought that went through my mind when i saw him was, what had he done, or didn't do, that caused him such life of misery?

Who knows he might be one of the CEOs in a famous multi million earning MNC, or used to be, but went bankrupt because of one silly mistake in investment?

Or maybe, he's just someone who didn't bother to study when he was young, play truant everyday, got involved with underground gangs, and when he finally got older, got left out of the wild life, he now can't even afford a proper meal?

How do you know which decision you make will lead you to a better life in the future?

It really is quite disturbing for me. I didn't know what to think!

One wrong step you take today might caused you everything you can't afford to lose tomorrow. So how do you know what you do today is the right thing to do?

Deranged~!!

ChiM

I've got a New Office

2007-04-21T13:15:00.000+08:00

For the past 2 weeks, it was a hectic time with the team as we need to rush in moving our new office before the sales conference was being held. It was hectic because we need to arrange for everything to be moved up from ground floor to 4th floor. Apart from that, we'll need to arrange all our equipments & everything else in the whole office & lab to make everything look really presentable.

And we still need to meet our time line for our projects.

And not all of us will be able to be here. For instance, this past week, JG was up in Penang for training. The Friday before this week, Harvin was on leave for the Vasakhi festival.

Basically, there was only 2 of us most of the time in doing all the stuffs. Either me+JG or me+Harvin.

But of course, if everyone would lend a hand, take some initiative to help out for the team, everything would be quicker and easier. Don't you agree?

And if you are a part of the team, there wouldn't be any reason for you to not help out during this event in the history of the team, right?

Wrong~!!

There are some of us who are only here for training, therefore they are special and therefore need not help in all this.

And even if you ask them for help, they would be so busy doing something that they will only appear to help out once you've got all the things done all by yourself.

Fine. Different culture, i'll take that.

Back to new office. It's of course, an office all by ourselves, with test lab attached together. This means we don't need to walk to & fro from the production floor back to the office for a sip of water and then walk back to the production again to get into the test lab.

More time saved.

Drawback, it's on 4th floor. We can only climb up with flight of stairs, unless you are carrying cargo or certified unfit to take the stairs, you can take the cargo lift.

But still, the new test office & lab is cool. Definitely a place of our own now.

Don't think i can share out the testers & the simulators we're using. It's company confidential you know. But i do feel like sharing a picture.

So i'll share this.

In the old office, the only view we have is just into the production floor. Now, we have a nice scenery of mountains and skies. Wonderful.

ChiM

Different Culture Maybe?

2007-04-16T22:54:00.000+08:00

See, i've got 3 chinese engineer colleagues from China. We've got communication problem. The reason so is because they don't speak proper English & i don't speak proper Mandarin. But language barrier is never too great an obstacle that i couldn't overcome.

See, i've got 3 chinese engineer colleagues from China. We've got communication problem. The reason so is because they have different working attitude than us. They have this mindset that they should be treated specially because they are here from overseas. But attitude barrier is never too great an obstacle to overcome as we don't work together on the same project.

See, i've got 3 chinese engineer colleagues from China. We've got communication problem.The reason so is because we think they are just lazy. i know it because we've openly discussed this among ourselves and we've concluded that at least one of them is lazy, another one is stubborn & the last one not too bright.

Well at least the not-too-bright one is still willing to lend a hand when us locals move our butts around trying to get things done.

And at least the stubborn one is smart enough to listen & think about something after we explained to him how things work around here.

It's just this one guy, who is obviously lazy, not too bright & damn stubborn, all 3-in-1 packaged into the same person. When you ask him to do something, you have to ask him 3 times before he will move his heavy butt off the chair & do the thing you asked. Furthermore, he will give a long lecture about why this thing that he is doing should be done in another way. When he finally get to do what he was suppose to do, he will take 3 times the period you yourself will need to get it done and get back to the office to report to you.

Arrghh......~!!

Are all Chinese people really like this? If so then i am seriously ashamed of myself as a Chinese heritage.

Of course i hope not all of them are like that. Sometimes, there will be one so special that makes the rest of the few billions of people looks bad.

Just like a band. If one person sounds bad, the whole band sounds bad.

I just hope we can get along well now since we're all inside the same office now, and will be so until they go back China, or i'm leaving the company.

And oh, my Indian colleague from India is coming in next month. Talk about multi-national company.

Wish me luck.

ChiM

Am i Ready?

2007-04-15T22:00:00.000+08:00

How long does it normally takes for a person to get over past relationship & move on to the next one?

Or even more specific, what is the appropriate time frame to get involve into another relationship after you broke up with your previous special someone.

A month? A year?

It always impress me a lot when friends can come to you weeping their heart out, telling you between their sobs & sighs how hurt their hearts are and stuffs. Then like a week or so later, you see them holding hands with someone else already.

And of course, when i try to talk this issue with them, all i got was avoidance. Most probably because i'm a loudmouth? But even those who will talk about it, all i got was "When it comes, you will know. You just can't help it."

Yea, rite~!!

Of course, i've got friends who just hang on to their previous relationship for ages, not willing to let go, even after their previous someone had already got steady with another person. i mean the time frame is just ridiculously long for these cases.

Now, again. How long does it normally takes for a person to get over past relationship & move on to the next one?

Easy question, not easy to answer. This is those kind of question you see in your final exams, with really simple question but you will need to answer in details, and correctly as it will cost you half the total scores of that paper if you got it wrong.

Maybe i'm just too dumb to "just know" it. Any solution to this? A guide perhaps?

And oh, say me gay if you will but i kind of find Justin Timberlake damn cool, especially when he dance lor. Wait a little while for the vid to load and see him dance ok?

ChiM

Light Bulb

2007-04-14T13:31:00.000+08:00

It's weekend once again, and this weekend i'm damn free, considering for the past few weeks there were activities during the 2 days of total boringness.

Just another complain post. Not exactly a complain per say but more to voicing up my dissatisfaction.

Anyway, i was suppose to go with a few of my colleagues to the night market yesterday after work, as a socializing event. The person who suggest to this activity was none other than the person who always decide where we should go for lunch everyday, which is also the person with a very special name.

I'm not going to disclose her name here, in fear that someone knows her might be reading this, or she might be reading this herself.

Back to the story. At almost six fifteen, the time other people usually got off from work, the time i'm still working an counting down another 2 more hours before going home, she gave me a call.

Well, she didn't exactly stood me up on this one. She just told me her boyfriend will be joining us, which was not in the initial plan. Almost well known to the whole universe out there, i'm not in good terms with the boyfren, the first reaction would be "Like that ar......then you guys have fun lar...." or "I don't want to be light-bulb lar....."

Kind of felt a tinge of disappointment, really. Is it really appropriate to stood friends off when your special someone call for you during the last minute of the activity you organize?

Is it ok or am i just being ridiculous?

I don't really want to be this negative but this is seriously really disappointing. At least for myself, i will have a better arrangement than this.

And i seriously don't enjoy being light-bulb. It sucks. Makes me feel damn emo of my own love life.

O.O ~~ emo

ChiM

Dedication to Lovely Laney

2007-04-12T01:13:00.001+08:00

First i must apologize to you and some other of my friends, and i do beg for your forgiveness before i continue on the story.

Reason for seeking apology is, i was down in KL last weekend, i didn't get to meet up with everyone. Actually i went down to KL for the training and career fair, in hope of looking how much am i worth in the market, what other opportunities i have to do my postgraduate program, and also survey what's hot in the industry and what's not.

Obviously it wasn't anything worth praising with a great round of applause, though i'm sure a lot of people attended the fair found good use of it.

But anyway, this post is not about the fair. It's about my good friend Lane. She was previously known as Bumbz, and Bumblebee, and Laney, and Lanez, and so many other names but now i'm just going to call her Lane.

I went down KL, tumpang her place for the night, and like always, she's like the nicest person in the whole wide world. We hang out and do some stupid stuffs, just like old times.

Then on our way home, outside The Curve, just as we turned out the junction from the parking area, fireworks starts shooting into the air. The whole sky was lit with shades of different colors, and artistic shapes of light.

I didn't have anything on me except my phone to capture the moment. Of course, it wasn't the nicest pictures of fireworks i've taken, and it's definitely not the nicest picture i've seen as well. But what matter most is, i've captured the moment into digital photography.

And so, i relive this sweet, short moment of friendship to my good friend, Lane.

Friendship may not be forever, but it looks good to me till this moment now.

ChiM

Back-ed?

2007-04-10T23:10:00.000+08:00

Let's make this real quick, not because i don't feel like blogging, or i don't want to blog anymore, but i don't know when will the line just trip & i go disconnect for the next couple of weeks AGAIN.

Yes, i have to emphasize AGAIN in bold and capital because i was basically off-line for the past few weeks, everyday battling with the customer service dudes & dudettes whether have they solve this problem for me or not.

It was really frustrating, as everytime i call them, i will have to re-tell the whole story again from square one. What's even more frustrating is it's the same complain report! The problem is already in the report, can't people read?

And after a series of misfortunes, and some butt-licking with the TM technicians, finally they show up at my house to try and fix it, only after 3 weeks the complain have been made.

Fine. Still cannot fix, and it's now a problem with the wiring of my house phone line, which apparently can be fixed by adding a filter at every phone port to block off interference to/from phone lines.

Still i'm disconnecting like every 5 minutes. And i only get to go online at late night. Mind you but i still need to crawl out the bed early morning to get myself ready for work.

This is why i was off-line for the past few weeks. Missed me?

ChiM

Thank You Indonesia?

2007-03-20T00:27:00.000+08:00

A friend of mine forwarded this you-tube video out. It's a bit outdated now i think but still it's worth a watch since this is like an annual thingy to all Malaysians now. In case you don't understand what they are singing, it's a thank-you song to our neighbor country for delivering the wonderful haze to us every year.

Ribuan terima kasih!

Enjoy!

ChiM

Addiction

2007-03-07T12:07:00.000+08:00

Did i post anything under this title before? Hope not coz i'm too lazy to search.

Are you addicted to anything? Not necessary drugs! Perhaps cigarettes? Or maybe porn?

I'm sure everyone is an addict today in this era, depending on whether or not you are guilty in the eye of the law.

I got friends who are addicted to coffee, anyhow also must take a cup a day.

I know someone who is addicted to shopping, like or don't like also must buy that pair of shoes.

There's also someone i know who is addicted to sports, he can go jogging, then go swimming, and right after dinner basketball the whole night.

Sometimes addiction can be permanent, sometimes it can be temporary. Coffee problem usually are permanent.

When i say temporary, i mean something like, you feel really desperate to have it now. And now. And now. Then there will be an end to this addiction.

Most common example of addiction of this kind is watching anime. During MMU time, it's a weekly housemates activity to watch anime together, right until the storyline changes. So this weekly addiction thing stops.

Then lately there's a craze about this new TV series, so hot in US, not even reach European countries but most Malaysian have already watched it.

Heroes.

I'm seriously addicted to this show now. Obviously from the title you can guess what is the genre of this show, if you don't already know anything about this, or have already watched each and every episode uploaded.

All the craps before this line is just purely craps to waste your time to read something which does not make any sense to you or to my own good self but i still write them down just to make you feel i am still who i am and that i haven't change much although that is not true because everyone changes, for the good or bad.

Anyway, still downloading. Going to watch in bundles during the weekends. Until then, cheerz~!

ChiM

Long Time No See

2007-03-03T00:16:00.001+08:00

It's been a while since my last entry. I think I've hit the writer's block. Can't seem to think straight lately.

Work load is increasing, more challenging, more stressful.

Love life......no love life.

I feel like I'm wandering around aimlessly, no clear direction on where to go.

And I feel very lonely. I need some serious companionship. I need a direction, a guidance.

Crap.

ChiM

Valentine's Day Gimmick

2007-02-13T23:10:00.001+08:00

What would you get for your special someone on this special day?

Could it be flowers? Could it be chocolate?

Or could it be even more old school when you just get a beanie Baby Patrick for her?

Well, if you are conscious enough, these stuffs are sky-high when you look at the price tag. Are these stuffs worth this much on normal days? Just think about it, they are at least double the original prices.

So are you sure you want to spend so much on this day?

Ok, maybe you're not a big spender on huggable bears, or sweet to the heart chocolates, or even old school red roses, but i bet you're taking her out for a posh dinner with food you don't even know how to pronounce the name the properly.

Then again, on this blessed day, so happen the usual menu would be missing as they will be promoting their once-a-year Valentine's Day promotion, which comes with free gifts for the first 100 diners. Now, isn't that something? More exciting news when you see the bill.

Ok, maybe you can afford all these. I'm not your financial minister. I can't govern your monetary spending habit.

Or, maybe you'll say "Hey, don't be such a stingy loser. It's just once a year."

This is when you screw things up. What do you mean once a year?

Was that, "Hey it's just once a year where i treat my gal better."?

Or was that, "Hey, it's just gonna be today where i treat that B**ch like a person."?

Or maybe "Hey, if I don't do this how am i going to get her laid tonight?"?

Or could it be that, "Hey, I love her but i just want her to feel even more important today."?

Would you have thought of the last one if i didn't put that in? Ask yourself again.

Ask yourself why do you want to celebrate this day? Is it because it's a day dedicated to lovers, so that there will be more business opportunities?

Do you think treating her better today will compensate for how you treat her like shit every other day?

Rome was not built in one day. So does her love for you.

Jump out of the box. Everyday is a Valentine's Day.

ChiM

Pre-Valentine's Day Gossips

2007-02-11T23:05:00.001+08:00

Valentine's day is just a few steps ahead, and couples are thinking on what gifts to buy for their special someone. Me on the other end, is trying to hide away from the sad fact that i ain't celebrating this "special" day with a "special" someone.

But how can i hide? I know i ain't tall, and i know i ain't plus-sized enough to lock myself up in the cupboard, but still i can't hide. I still need to go out to work, and go out to eat. I'll just to to stay cool, act cool......deep breathe, deep breathe. I'll try hard not to pull out a stick to hit the guy when i see the couples being affection in public. I'll try.

But anyway, i think i'm going to just sulk over how lonely i am now being single, and then write out what a loser i am, and blah blah blah blah......

Well, i might do that, and might not. There's nothing to be sad about, although i can't think of any special reason to say that i'm happy though. Hehehe.....

But good news. If you still haven't buy anything for your special someone, here's a spot you can try.

Click HERE.

This is specially created by a few friends of mine, just trying to help out those who are in need. Just click to the page, and see what you like. Call my friend, but don't mention you know me. He might charge you cheaper but he'll get back to me to get the discount the gave you.

Just for you to know, i'm helping out just for the lowest pay in the whole wide world. If Jumbo works for peanuts, they are only paying me Teh Tarik at mamak stall, which i do not know when that's coming also.

But anyway, if you know me good enough, i ain't doing it for the money, i ain't doing it for the Teh Tarik most definitely. This is purely for friendship, to the extent that they don't force me to buy anything from them which i don't need that is.

Anyway, for those who have found your special someone, may love overcome all obstacles for you guys.....and gals.

And of course for those single souls out there. Always be on the lookout. Who knows the special someone you're looking for is just nearby. When the time comes, you'll find her.....or him.

This is the time around when you don't wear protective vest. Who knows Cupid might shoot you with his arrow. Cheerz~!!

ChiM

CellPhones Are From Yesterday

2007-01-30T23:07:00.000+08:00

I came upon this while surfing through YouTube. I don't know how true is this but if it's really real, it's going to be like the coolest thing ever up-to-date. Have a look.

Fancy? Ain't it the coolest thing up-to-date?

ChiM

Will Cameron Cry Today?

2007-01-24T23:45:00.000+08:00

Last weekend was a really relaxing weekend. Although i didn't get much rest but it was really worth the hassle, and worth the money.

I was high up in the mountains, breathing fresh clean air, enjoying cool breeze, indulging in sceneries of lush greeneries of tea leaves.

Cameron Highlands.

It was a simple trip, but long planned. The best thing about this trip was it reminds me that i still have a life to live. I still have my friends.

I like this pic in particular. This makes Jeh & me looks so much like real siblings.

I was really glad that this trip went pretty well, despite the short time we spent together. We were walking around, buying food, snapping photographs, laughing out all loud. Every passerby was practically looking at us for being so loud.

But it was fun. It was really relaxing. I haven't had this much fun, haven't felt this relaxing since.....................God knows when.

This trip really kept me recharged.

All our activities were not thrilling, but it was relaxing and soothing instead. We went for tea at BOH plantation, we went Cactus Valley, Strawberry Farm.....just some normal tourist attraction spots.

The short time we spent together was the only thing that makes me feel sad throughout this trip. That is why i savor every bit and seconds, capturing every memorable moments into jpeg. Weeks, months, or maybe years later (if my hard disks are still working), when i view back these pictures, definitely it will bring joy and laughter onto my face & into my heart.

Again, thanks guys.....& gals, for such a memorable time you gave to me. May God bless you, and may the dharma guide you, or which ever applies.

ChiM

Happiness

2007-01-17T23:36:00.001+08:00

"What is suffering?", asked the man.

"Suffering is when you crave for something which you cannot get. That is when you feel suffering.", answered Ajahn Bhram.

Very true indeed is the word of the wise. We always blame everything else when we feel our life is torture. We would blame our boss, some slow-moving drivers on the highway, the weather.

But how many times did we look at the same thing from a different perspective?

This reminds me of a story from Ajahn Bhram's talk. He was in Ipoh last Sunday evening, his first trip to this quiet little town.

There was a supermarket in town where everyone would shop for their daily groceries there. Little kids and toddlers would follow their mom on their groceries shopping. In the midst of everyone busy buying everyone's stuffs, a kid accidentally dropped a bottle of honey to the floor, breaking the bottle.

Then the mother looked at the child angrily, and scolded out "You stupid child!".

On another occassion, another kid broke another bottle of honey to the floor, breaking the bottle.

Then the mother of this other child looked sternly at her child, and said "That's a stupid thing to do!".

End of story.

It might not be significant as to what is the difference of the 2 scenarios in the story, but let me explain.

The mother of the first child labeled the child as a "stupid child" when the child did something wrong, which the kid might just grow up into someday. Someone who think he really is stupid because that's how his mom taught him since he was a toddler.

The mother of the other child labeled the incident as a "stupid thing to do", which will make the kid realize that that is something he shouldn't have done. He just might not do it again the next time.

Haven't you realize a simple shift in mind will make such great difference in everything?

Staying happy is the simplest thing to do. Just stay positive. Just think positive. When you do, good things will really be attracted to you. Promise that.

Suffering is when you crave for something which you cannot get. Try thinking in another perspective. What you don't have is what you have yet to posses instead. It will come to you someday.

ChiM

- Freedom of Speech & Thoughts -

45 Lessons in Life

First Post of the Year

Bad Boyfriend

In Loving Memory of Grandpa

Being Around

Life is Fair

Children's Day

Out of Nothing-ness

A Drastic Change....

What Say You?

Monophobia?

Man Over Board

Man In The Mirror - LeeHom Tribute to Michael Jackson

It's been a while....

Matematik & Sains Dalam Bahasa Malaysia

Sleepy Head

Cake-kies

A Tribute to The King of Pop: Michael Jackson

Positivity for a Change

Unexpected Meet Up

Gravity

Dementia?

Eye-Sore

Condolence

Durian Durian I *Heart* You

Tweeter

2 Weeks in Living Hell

Desperate for Another Job

Happy Mommy's Day

The Post about My Weekends

Creation of Problems

Issue of Trust

The Aftermath

Done with Glory

The Final Countdown - Part II

Homeless

The Final Countdown

Leona Lewis - I Will Be

Marriage as a Commitment?

For The First Time....

The Ox-spicious 2009

Xin Tiao by Wang LeeHom

First 7 Days of 2009

Good is Bad

The Announcement Made

Should i? Should i not?

Economic Recession

Miskin Kaya Apa Bezanya?

Saturday = Rest Day

Short Short Short

Why So Serious?

The 'S' Word

The L Word

A Letter To Myself

Disgusted

Untitled

Seventy-farking-eight-cents

How Would You Know?

Most Unexpected

What Goes Around Comes Around

How Much Have I Changed?

Happy Birthdayday ml

Make the Best Out of It

Rat-Race

Long Time No See

Mini Balls & Baby's Shoes - Part 2

Mini Balls & Baby's Shoes

Hormone Imbalance?

Cough Cough Cough

For You Ladies Out There

It's been a while~!!

Post Merdeka Day Post

Contentment?

eMo

Do It Anyway

Bored on a Saturday Afternoon

Untitled

Well.....

What if......?

Durian Durian I Heart You