It's been a while~!!

i woke up in the morning, still feeling drowsy from the cough syrup i took last night. i feel the world is spinning below my feet, just right there underneath my toes.

i was suppose to take only 2 teaspoon, but i ended up taking 2 tablespoon instead. Just a slight overdose of cough mixture. That won't kill me. Nothing near that.

I've been having this sore-throat thing since monday morning. i couldn't remember what i ate which makes me like this. i guess it's just time for me to fall sick again. i was hoping i could get sick enough to take a leave from work but apparently i'm not that unfortunate.

i've always had waves of low self-esteem period from time to time. Not everyone knows about it. Not even close friends. Just close friends who really understands me will really notice, which is in fact not many. Lately, i'm having it again. i don't know what is the reason for it. Perhaps my hormone level isn't normal?

Or maybe you'd even guess it when i blog. i only writes when stuffs bother my mind. Don't ask me what happened, it's just one of those days when you're just not standing at the top of the world.

I think i've grown matured a little, not too much but a little. There are massive changes which i can feel within me. i'm trying to stay the same as how i've always been. it's comfortable being how i am all this while. it took me quite some lessons to appreciate me being myself.

I'm not saying i'm not happy lately. In fact, for the past 4 months, it's the best memories i can look back 10 years from now, and smile to myself knowing i did not waste my life being sad or feeling angry or quarreling or even simply not having fun.

It's a whole new experience i'm experiencing now. And it's always a very happy thing if you could find someone you can talk your heart with, who's willing to listen to your whining and nagging, who appreciates you so much for you being yourself.

Tonight is one of those nights when i feel very emotional. Mixture of happy thoughts and regrets sort of overwhelmed me.

Nothing can be done to undo wrongs that had been made. Take it as a life experience and learn from it.

Nothing can be done to un-say hurtful words that had been said. Those words should be replaced with kindness and care instead.

What can be done is what lies ahead when we wake up every morning. No one can ever help us if we ourselves don't wish to help ourselves.

What can be fun to do today, you might regret doing it tomorrow. So why do it?

What you dare not do today, you might regret not doing it yesterday. So why hold back?

We are not saint, we all make mistakes. We know it's wrong sometimes but we still do it. We have lots of reason to do it but in the end if anyone gets hurt, it's wrong.



ChiM