Hormone Imbalance?

If hormones are to blame when you have emotional distress, then i'm having some hormone imbalance issue right now.

i was alright a moment before, and there it was. The wave of low self esteem came rushing to me again. i hate it when this happens. i can't think straight. i can't decide right. i think of all sorts of nonsense. question everything that i've decided. question myself.

in short, self-doubt and doubting others.

And i can't sleep.

Who should i blame to feel like this? i know i can't talk to anyone at this time, because i know i'll just reject whatever suggestions that anyone might give. i'll even question how are they to tell me how should i feel.

i'm just not me when i'm hit with the wave, and i hate it.

fuck it. can't the damn feeling just fucking leave me alone!

i yawn and my head hurts. And i can't sleep.

i'm sorry. This is rude. You're not suppose to read this but it's my blog and i can post whatever i want to. Isn't it? Just don mind me. I'm sorry.

And so, after giving all out. It seems like it's still not enough. And so the problem is actually with me. I'm just like another selfish jerk-off ass-hole after all.

Head hurts.

I really don't know what should i feel just now. Should i be disappointed? Should i be angry?

i don't blame you. i blame that son of a bitch though. And i say this when i'm rational too, though it still don't dictate that i have the right to insult someone like that. i just hope he will get what he deserved. Someone ass-rape him maybe. Just joking. Not funny.

i'll go pretend to sleep. Maybe it'll pass. I'll be like how i am every other day when i wake up in the morning. But how do i actually wake up when i'm only pretending to sleep?



ChiM